The Fraternal Twins of Haruhi CHAN Suzumiya
by Drake Nolsa
Summary: From the person who brought you Fraternal Twins of Haruhi Suzumiya, here is Haruhi-chan Suzumiya! Expect really random plots! Fourth wall breaking! And silliness!
1. First Dream of the New Year

**Well, why not? Why not do it?**

**Just so you know, this is a spontaneous story as this will by my little place when I can't think of anything from my actual proper stories. That's because I wanted to do something crazy anyway so yeah, here we go.**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The Fraternal Twins of Haruhi-CHAN Suzumiya**

**First dream of the New Year**

**Kyon's Side**

Kyon was riding his bicycle up the slope leading to his house. His gear shift broke, forcing him to go up it on low. Now, if you know what riding a bicycle is like, I don't even need to tell you how tiring that is. Kyon finally got home, now walking through the entrance of the house.

"I hom-AUGH!" Kyon was punched in the face hard by his fraternal twin sister, Kyonko.

"WELCOME BACK!" Kyonko said, looking like she just went through hell. She grabbed hold of her brother's collar. "How dare you leave me at home with the tiny devils? That punch was for everything they put me through!"

"…Good to see you too Kyonko…" Kyon could barely talk. Man can Kyonko hit hard!

After that, Kyon was forced to play alongside with his siblings. They didn't show him any mercy and he was even more tired than he was when riding back home. The Kyon's had finally gotten their younger siblings to sleep while Kyon himself staggered off to his bed.

"I should have brought them all with me…" Kyon said.

Now he was going to try to sleep but he needed to help him do so. He soon saw a Haruhi in a dog costume and Mikuru, or at least the head of Mikuru because the rest of her body was a sheep. They walked up and noticed him.

"Oh look, Kyon's trying to sleep." The Haruhi dog said. "Let's help him and count sheep."

The scene suddenly turned dark and soon a ring of fire was between the Haruhi dog now with a whip in hand and the Mikuru sheep who was now crying in fear.

"Now jump you! Jump so he can go to sleep!"

"I can't sleep! I feel sorry for it!" Kyon screamed out and now saw himself in a gigantic field. "Where am I? Let's see, I tried to sleep, started counting sheep, got upset…" Kyon soon came to a realization. "It's a dream… I'm sorry sheep-san, I fell asleep."

"My my, you're actually quite a terrible boy." A voice came from his left.

It was Itsuki Koizumi floating in a mountain costume with the back of it saying 'Made in China'.

"Hello, it's me. I'm playing as Mt. Fuji." Ituki said with a smile.

"Here's an idiot!" Kyon said in wondering 'what the hell is going on here?'

"What was with that reaction?"

"If I actually admit that you're Koizumi, people would probably get mad."

"Well, it is a dream."

"I know that, but you're not meant to say that!"

"How do like my costume? It's the bringer of good luck, Mt. Fuji."

"I don't care!"

"Not to worry, because I chosen the luckiest Mt. Fuji, I'll surely make you happy." Itsuki said with a cool look.

"Don't do that cool look in that costume. And I don't see you bringing me good luck." Kyon said rather dead pan-ish.

"You didn't!" Itsuki said dramatically. "You mean that you really can see that I'm not Mt. Fuji and just nothing but a random mountain?"

"You're not Mt. Fuji!" Kyon said just as dramatically. "Expanding!"

He soon jumped into the air and grew in massive size. He took the form of a blue giant with two red eyes staring down on the mountain.

"You shouldn't have told me that!" He said in a loud booming voice.

Ok, enough of that. Kyon finally got back on the ground.

"Sorry, I got carried away."

"That's ok. I wasn't meant to shout anyway. It was a mistake."

"It was a mistake already wearing that thing."

"I guess it is."

Kyon soon walked off into the field with his companion the Mt. Fuji Itsuki on the quest to save the world!

Ok not really.

"Well, let's try to find the other two here." Kyon looked around.

"You try the hawk up there?" Itsuki pointed in the sky.

"How can you tell that's a hawk?"

The bird soon came flying down towards them. It was a male Tsuruya with short green hair and the same fang on the left of his mouth, just like his sister. **(A/N: I know, I haven't introduced him yet in the other one. Shut it.) **He waswearing a rather dumb crane costume. It was appropriate in a way as Tsuruya, shortened down means crane. That was said because in the actual series, Tsuruya made a chocolate crane called Tsuru same with the costume.

Wait, why the hell am I writing this bit? Back to the story!

"That's a crane!" Kyon shouted only to see the crane come kicking and making a hole in Koizumi's costume.

"Kyon-kun, you judge too much on appearance." Tsuruya said. "I may look like a crane but I have a heart of a hawk!"

Silence fell because of how stupid that sounded.

"But you're a crane right?" Kyon asked.

"Yeah…"

Kyon sighed. He left that to the side and looked around.

"Now for the eggplant." Kyon wondered about it.

"I think I should give her a call." Itsuki said.

"You could do that?" A ringing sound could be heard. Kyon looked down and saw a phone. "Why on the ground?"

Kyon picked it up and answered.

"Hello, Yuki Nagato-san?" Itsuki asked.

"Oh, so Nagato's the eggplant." Kyon said looking at the mountain.

"Oh? Why didn't you say you found her?"

"I didn't find her at all."

"Have you checked on the strap?" Itsuki said, pointing at the dangling thing on the phone.

"Hello, I'm an eggplant." Said the head of a small Yuki Nagato wearing a eggplant costume, dangling in the air by a string and a bell.

"There you are!" Kyon said in amazement.

Well, he had assembled the group who he needed for this dream. He was now ready to save the dream world! Ok, I know enough with the saving world crap.

"Ok now I got everyone." Kyon said. He looked at the three odd people in the group in front of him. "So?"

"So?" Itsuki and Tsuruya said in question.

"Wake me up! I like to be out of this dream!"

"We can't do that." Itsuki said. He soon gave a cool looking face about it. "But there is someone who always gets you out of all kinds of messes."

"Oh yeah, Nagato!" Kyon said in realization and also wanted to remind Koizumi one thing. "Don't do that face in that costume."

"Understood."

Kyon soon raise the phone up dramatically and faced the floating eggplant Nagato.

"Now Nagato! How do I get out of this dream?"

"Sleep in this dream and you will wake up in the other." Yuki said in a monotone voice.

"That's it?"

"That's it."

Ok, that was easy.

Kyon had no other choice. Somehow, a futon was just spread on the floor. He didn't bother asking seeing that in dreams, nothing ever makes sense anyway. He crawled into it and was ready to go to sleep. If only the three weren't standing above him watching him trying to sleep.

The Haruhi dog and Mikuru sheep came walking pass and they saw Kyon once again.

"Oh look, Kyon's trying to sleep." The Haruhi dog said. "Let's help him and count sheep."

The scene suddenly turned dark and soon a ring of fire was between the Haruhi dog now with a whip in hand and the Mikuru sheep who was now crying in fear.

"Now jump you! Jump so he can go to sleep!"

"No! Stop that!" Kyon screamed at them again.

He soon noticed that he's back in his room. The only thing now was to ask himself this. What in God's was that all about?

**Kyonko's side**

Kyonko finally got to her room, after getting the tiny terrors that is her younger siblings to sleep with the help of her twin brother. The kids always did have a lot of energy.

"Man I need to get some sleep." Kyonko said, falling straight onto the bed.

She, just like her brother, tried to count sheep. What she got was Haruki in a dog costume and the head of Mitsuru on a sheep body.

"Oh look, Kyonko is trying to sleep." Haruki said. "Let's help him out and count sheep."

I bet you're guessing it's going to be the ring of fire, isn't it? Nice try but I got my own ideas.

"Because Haruhi has the ring of fire, I'm going to use this."

The scenery suddenly turned dark and a double spike fence was going up and down in a momentum. Sheep Mitsuru, just like Sheep Mikuru, was crying in fear.

"Now jump you! Jump so she can go to sleep!"

"Don't hurt him!" Kyonko screamed dramatically only to be in a large room with her on a bed.

Kyonko looked around, trying to get her bearings straight.

"I felt asleep, counted sheep, felt depress…" Kyonko then finally figured it all out. "I'm in a dream… I'm sorry Sheep-san, I fell asleep."

"Wow Kyonko, I didn't think you're that cruel." Kyonko looked for the voice and saw Itsuko Koizumi on the opposite side of the bed.

Now, this wouldn't be SO bad if only she wasn't in her underwear.

"Wawawa-what the hell! " Kyonko said, backing away from her.

"It's me, Itsuko Koizumi. I'll be playing Mt. Fuji." She said slowly crawling up to Kyonko.

"How the hell are you supposed to be Mt. Fuji?" Kyonko continue to back away.

"Because of this underwear I'm wearing. It has Mt. Fuji on it." She said happily.

"That's not how this is supposed to go!" Kyonko got off the bed and quickly run out of the room.

"Hey wait!" Itsuko ran after her. "Let me explain!"

This was screwed up. Kyonko knows the pattern with this dream thing but why the hell in such a way! She ran until she bumped into someone along the way.

The daughter of the Tsuruya family stood tall over her. Just like Itsuko, she was in her underwear as well except she had wings on her back.

"Tsuruya-san?" Kyonko was surprised to see her. She quickly backs away seeing her. Itsuko soon crashed into Kyonko who backed up.

"Oh Kyonko, good to see ya!" Tsuruya greeted her with a huge smile.

"Um, what's with those wings?"

"It's to represent the hawk!"

Kyonko had a proper look at those wings. "Looks more like crane wings."

Tsuruya took this as an insult as she was trying to kick her. Kyonko ducked along with Itsuko to avoid getting hit.

"These may be crane wings but it's the heart that counts!" Tsuruya declared.

"But, those are crane wings right?"

"I guess…"

Kyonko sighed. She soon remembers something and saw Itsuko behind her. She placed her hand on her shoulder to stop her from running.

"Let me explain." Itsuko said. "We're not here to do anything to you. We're only here to bring you good luck."

"How is being in your underwear meant to give me good luck, and why girls no less?" Kyonko would really like to know the answer to that.

"I don't know the answer to that. But I think your real priority is to find the last person in this."

Kyonko only sighed about this. "Fine. Considering the order, Mt. Fuji, hawk… so that means the eggplant is next."

"Well he should be around here. He's not that hard to spot."

Speaking of scenery, Kyonko, along with the two odd girls next to her, were standing in a hall way, a small one though. It was red in colour and only had two doors. She knows that she came out of one door only to bump into Tsuruya. She decided to open the next door.

There sat Yukihiko Nagato, just like the rest, in his underwear. Of course, Kyonko knows that Yukihiko is rather impressive without his clothes. He was the eggplant as his boxers were had an eggplant pattern on it.

"Nagato-kun?"

"Hello, I'm the eggplant." Yukihiko said.

"R-right…" Kyonko really have no clue what's going on anymore. "Ok, now everyone is here. Can I wake up now?"

"Well…" Itsuko pondered a little.

"Well what?"

"There is a way but, it's something you probably won't like."

"And what would that be?"

Itsuko ran up to her tackled her down and pressed her lips against Kyonko. Now, the shock of this should have wakened her up but it only got her to scream and kick Itsuko off her. She quickly backed away from her and hid behind the semi-naked Nagato.

"Guess it didn't work after all." Itsuko said with a smile.

"I should kill you for that!" Kyonko said, turning red.

"Now now." Tsuruya came in. "Calm down. It was just one of her ways we could have woken you up. We kinda hoped that it would work though."

"Kinda!"

"Don't worry! We still got Nagato-kun to tell us what to do!" Tsuruya said happily. "So, what do we do?"

"She sleeps in this world and then she would wake up in the other." Yukihiko gave the simple explanation to all her troubles.

"You could have told me that sooner!" Kyonko screamed at him. "Fine, I'll sleep but keep her away from me!"

Tsuruya and Yukihiko obeyed and help Itsuko away from her. Kyonko quickly got into the bed that was in the room. She really wanted to get out of the dream world and possibly get a physiatrist. This dream is way too screwed up.

Haruki dog came walking into the room, oddly enough, along with Mitsuru the sheep as well.

"Oh look, Kyonko is trying to sleep." Haruki said. "Let's help him out and count sheep. Because Haruhi has the ring of fire, I'm going to use this."

The scenery suddenly turned dark and a double spike fence was going up and down in a momentum. Sheep Mitsuru, just like Sheep Mikuru, was crying in fear.

"Now jump you! Jump so she can go to sleep!"

"Please leave him alone!" Kyonko shouted jumping out of her bed.

Just like her brother, she questioned her dream. Of course, her dream was more twisted than anything before it. How the hell was that supposed to give her good luck? If anything, it was all possibly foreshadowing!

Nevertheless, Happy New Year Everyone!

**I know it's not New Year but what the hell? Let's just have fun.**

**I also know that Kyonko's dream was rather random. You try thinking of something in 1 AM in the morning. Well, that and I couldn't think of anything really good for her anyway so, here's some pointless crap.**

**Anyway, expect more craziness of this later.**


	2. A PROPER INTRODUCTION!

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**A PROPER INTRODUCTION!**

Haruhi-Due to the author's incompetence in the last chapter, both me and Haruki-nii will give the proper introduction to this fic!

Haruki- Right! I'm Haruki Suzumiya.

Haruhi- And I'm Haruhi Suzumiya. We both came from East Middle School.

Haruki- First of, we have no interest in ordinary humans.

Haruhi & Haruki- If you are a fan of Haruhi Suzumiya, THEN READ THIS FANFIC! THAT IS ALL!

Kyon looked at two with an odd look on his face. Kyonko pretended that it didn't even happen.

Kyon- _Why were they shouting like that?_

Haruhi turned around.

Haruhi- We did that so we can get proper publicity as well as getting some introductions done.

Kyon- All I saw was you shouting out the window.

Haruki- Now Mr. Author, Introduce everyone else!

Kyon- Wait a minute!

Kyon tried to resist. Yeah, like he can resist them let alone me.

Anyway, we can finally have a proper introduction, unlike that really screwed up first dream which I did for Kyonko. I actually just wanted to torture her, seemed like a fun idea. That or the fact I just wanted to throw in the gag in my stories that Itsuko just wants to get into her underwear.

Kyonko- I heard that!

Anyway, here we go!

That is Mikuru and Mitsuru Asahina, the mascot and experiment of the SOS Brigade were at the little corner working together to make tea while wearing a maid costume. Oddly enough, Mitsuru looked even cuter in it than what he used to be. That can't be good. I better wash my brain later.

There was Yuki and Yukihiko Nagato at the other corner, playing on laptops that they won against the Computer club. The silent members of the SOS Brigade and actual members of the Literature club and both had wireless headphones as well. Yuki was a cute bunny headphone while Yukihiko had cute cat headphone. What? I don't know what animal headphone would work for the guy, he's stoic as all hell. Why are they on computers instead of reading a book? We'll get to that later.

The twins sitting at the table, playing a game of cards is the mysterious bishonen and bishoujo twins, Itsuki and Itsuko Koizumi. Itsuki shows all of his mysterious side. Itsuko also is a mystery because she has this odd power over girls and oddly enough, it doesn't affect Kyonko. Yes, I'm still using her against you Kyon X Itsuki fans out there. You know who you are!

And those two are Kyon and Kyonko. There, I'm done.

Kyon- What sort of introduction is that!

Kyonko- Introduce us properly!

They will be the straight man or whatever they are supposed to be with Japanese comedy.

Anyway, time to go into something else. We all know how the Kyon's first meeting with everyone is like. So, let's skip the boring part and go into other ideas that could have been used to the SOS Brigade Movie. I know I haven't done that yet either, I get it. Just go with it.

* * *

The SOS Brigade clubroom which was rather messy after the cultural festival was where the group all sat down to rest. Kyonko was having a nice cup of tea, watching the Suzumiyas clean while Kyon was playing a game with Itsuki while Itsuko was just watching them.

"I can't believe there so much stuff we used for the movie." Haruhi said moving a box.

"I know. I can't even remember what we even used." Haruki said in amazement as well. He noticed a piece of paper and picked it up. "Hey I guys, look at this."

Kyonko came up from her seat to see what was. It said, 'Mikuru and Mitsuru's specials. Top Secret'. What she saw was a simple diagram of Mikuru and Mitsuru with their costumes, Mikuru in her battle waitress outfit along with her brother wearing his battle waiter costume.

I made that up; it hasn't been established on what Mitsuru is going to be wearing in that version of the movie.

"So what is this?" Kyonko asked.

"Oh, it was something we came up for Mikuru-chan and Mitsuru-kun." Haruki said. "We wanted to use them but we only used the Ultimate Twin beam."

"Is that so?" Mitsuru said. "I would like to see it."

"So do I." Itsuki said as well.

Kyonko passed it down to the Asahinas and Koizumis. What they saw was that not only was the battle Asahinas had lasers coming from their eyes but alongside them was the Mitsuru and Mikuru cutter, pointing at the cufflinks on the maid headband respectively. Next a special only for the character attack. Mikuru had the Mikuru missiles which was basically her breast being missiles. Mitsuru had the special Mitsuru punch, which fired both his arms. Simply put, Mitsuru's special was a rip off of the rocket punch. Another combination attack was the Twin Typhoon.

The only thing going through the heads of the Koizumis and Asahinas was the simple little fact that is, 'Oh thank god none of these were actually used!'

"Well." Itsuko finally got out of the shock. "This is actually pretty detailed."

"Wait, the missile is supposedly made from Mikururon." Mikuru pointed out.

Yuki was finally able to peak some interest about it. She walked up and had a look at the sheet along with her brother. They scanned the entire layout of the work and soon finally got something.

"So, what do you think Nagato-san?" Mikuru asked.

"There is a material that can actually be used for the missile." Yuki said. "It is an extraterrestrial material but it cannot be extracted with Earth technology. If it was use, it would cause an explosion 7 times greater than the atomic bomb itself."

"That's crazy powerful!" Kyon shouted from his lungs.

"If that was to happen, even we cannot survive." Yuki said with a nod of agreement from Yukihiko.

Kyonko could only shake in fear of what if any of those were actually used.

"Well, we were actually pretty serious about it." Haruhi added. "Of course, we wanted to change their charms."

"Well sis, excluding the missiles, I can recommend the Twin typhoon." Haruki said.

"Why is that?" Kyonko asked.

"Because by using them, Mikuru's skirt would lift up while Mitsuru's fly would open up!" Haruki said with high enthusiasm. "Then a powerful-"

"Wait wait, wait!" Kyon stopped him. "That's too perverted you idiot!"

"Ok ok fine. We'll use the Mikuru missile in the next movie then." Haruhi said, wanting to shut Kyon up.

"No, wait. I'm sorry. Let's just go with the Typhoon."

Itsuki wanted to know a little something about another bit.

"May I ask that you have something for the Nagato-sans?" He raised his hand.

"Oh yeah." Haruki took out a piece of paper. "Unlike the Asahinas, they don't get that many specials."

Everyone all gathered around the sheet to explain what Yuki and Yukihiko can do as the evil alien magic using twins. Yukihiko can use more of the water element as he can call upon forth the oceans to flood even a small island and wipe out everyone. For Yuki, she can call forth asteroids raining down on their opponents. Together, they can divide the Earth and create Earthquakes together and even throw elementary school kids!

"What the hell!" Kyonko shouted. "Throwing elementary school kids?"

"Yeah I mean, the other four spells are deadly but elementary school kids?" Kyon joined in on the fight.

"The kids are used as a distraction." Haruhi said with a smile.

"Yeah but it might make a misunderstanding with the kids." Haruki said with the same smile.

"What misunderstanding? There is no misunderstanding!" Kyon and Kyonko shouted at them.

Incidentally, the Nagatos had that sparkle in their eyes which felt like they wanted to say; 'We can do all of that'.

**Well, at least it wasn't as crazy as the last one but I still find this fun. Now that would be a fun movie! Throwing elementary school kids…**

**Well, I'll be back again at some point.**


	3. A normal day with the SOS Brigade

**Well, here's the next part.**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**A normal day with the SOS Brigade, if you call this normal.**

It was a normal day. This definition of normal though, means that there isn't anything chaotic happening. This is a good thing for Kyon mainly because he wanted a day which nothing terrible happened but, if that was the case, then it' not a normal day. You'll see why. Anyway, Kyonko had to do something and said that she'll join them.

He had finally come to the door to the SOS Brigade.

"Knock knock." Kyon said while knocking on the door.

"Come in." A voice of a young girl called out.

Kyon opened the door and there, he saw running up to him and screaming.

"I'm bored!" Well, that summed up everything with her. "Why hasn't anything happened yet? I'm bored, bored, BORED!"

Haruhi started wasting all of her energy doing just about everything that she could do. Basically, acting like a baby with a temper tantrum. She soon ran out of the room and doing a cartwheel. Unfortunately, once she reached the stairs, she came falling down and crashing into her brother who screamed as he saw her coming down.

"Good to see you still energetic." Kyon said as he sat down on a chair.

Haruki came in with his sister, only to have her still have energy to do a human bridge on top of the chief table.

"I'll just spend the rest of the day like this!" Haruhi said in annoyance.

"Come on sis, how about we just go search around the school." Haruki said, trying to calm his sister down. Well, he is the brother. He has to do SOMETHING brotherly.

"Yeah." Kyon soon heard the door open and saw a student. "Look, there's a client." The door closed once the person saw Haruhi as she is.

Haruhi just couldn't believe that happened.

"Well, that was your fault."

"Damn it!" Haruhi started rolling off the table doing the barrel roll. "Ow… Haruki-nii…" Haruhi was started to sound like she was sobbing.

"Oh boy." Haruki picked his sister up. "Come on, let's head to the nurse."

"Then what do I do?" Kyon said as Haruki headed out the door.

Kyon didn't bother and just sat down to wait for the other members to come in. The door opened and there appeared Yuki Nagato. Kyon only waved at her as she walked pass and picked up a laptop. Now, this is strange in a way, only because she would have read a book instead. Well, you can guess that she wanted to try something different. What did get Kyon's attention was this.

"No, I can't handle it~!" It was the laptop making really weird noises.

Kyon looked at the quiet girl playing on the laptop, wondering what that was.

"I hope I'm not going crazy." Kyon walked up to the girl to see what she was playing and well, it's something alright. Too bad that they aren't even at the right age limit. "Nagato, is that fun?"

"It's interesting." Nagato had a sparkle in her eye.

"O-ok then." Kyon quickly head to the box of junk they gather over their time. "Now, its fine that you're interested in different things but, it's best to use headphones so you don't disturb others. Ok Nagato?"

Nagato nodded and continued playing. Kyon was now trying to fight himself wanting to see the rest of the game. Yeah, you try to not look at a game which had some very interesting content.

"You want to play?"

"No! I'm fine!"

Now, somewhere else, Kyonko was not fine, as a matter of fact, she was actually frozen in place by a psycho. That psycho was Ryoko Asakura, standing in front of her with a knife in her hand.

"I'm going to kill you and see how the Suzumiyas will react." Ryoko said in a very evil voice.

"Did you have a sudden personality change, Asakura?" Kyonko asked.

"Now die!" Ryoko came charging at her.

Kyonko closed her eyes, not wanting to see the attack. Oddly enough, an area where the door should have been, opened up simply enough. It was Yukihiko Nagato who seemed like he didn't really noticed what was going on though.

"Wawawa-" Seriously, what is with these guys and wasuremono? Anyway, Yukihiko had his head collided with Ryoko's who was starting to slowly disintegrate.

"You ok Nagato-kun?" Kyonko asked the boy.

"I'm fine." Yeah, he's holding his head, having a rather large bump on it and crying. Do you call that fine?

"Looks like I lost. But don't rest yet!" Asakura was still able to speak. "My brother will come and finish the job! And even if he failed, there are still the other members of the Radical four!"

"Wow, how cheesy." Kyonko pointed it out.

"And even if you beat them, there are the three leaders of our group…"

"Yasu is the culprit." Kyonko said, wanting to end this quickly. I would, for all you know; she would probably keep on going saying there's even a stronger figure.

Now this was a normal day when it comes to the SOS Brigade, classmates trying to kill classmates due to crazy alien logic. Speaking of aliens, I forgotten about Ryou Asakura. Well, he just happened to be sitting in his home, having a cup of tea. He then sensed something.

"Looks like Ryoko have been defeated." He said, having another sip of his tea. "Oh well. I'm not going to do anything. The Nagatos would have deleted me as well anyway."

Smart guy.

**What can I say? Well, I got nothing to say anyway.**


	4. The greatest game show in the universe!

**Who likes game shows?**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The greatest game show in the universe!**

Another day, another tea to serve. It's not that the Asahinas don't mind, they actually enjoy serving tea. Mitsuru still didn't like the fact that he had to wear a maid outfit but, it wasn't as bad when his sister had to wear a nurse outfit that seemed more revealing than the maid. He was actually grateful for it. Of course, it was still a wonder how the heck they got the tiny lion thing. We didn't know what it was but it was named Mu-chan which was given by Mikuru.

Mitrusu opened the door.

"We're here." Mitsuru called out. "Oh, no one's here."

"Onii-chan, look." Mikuru pointed at the remote and a note next to it.

'Turn on the TV.'

Well, the SOS Brigade always did have a lot of things in the room. A TV is one of them. Mitsuru took the remote and turned it on.

"Mikuru-chan, Mitsuru-kun, are you watching?" Haruki's face appeared right on the screen up close.

"Honyaaaaaaaaa!" Who made that sound, Mikuru or Mitsuru? How about both? That sounded very plausible when it came to those two.

"Today is the special SOS Brigade's variety show!" Haruki said ever so happily. "I'm your host, Haruki Suzumiya!"

"And I'm the assistant host and sister, Haruhi Suzumiya!" Haruhi was just as happy.

"Our contestants today are the Nagato twins, Yuki and Yukihiko!" Haruhi pointed at the Nagatos. They both had a siren light of some kind on their head and a button each in of their hand. They decided to press the button and let it go. "The game hasn't started yet guys. Oh and their opponents over there." Haruhi pointed at the Kyons behind them.

"Hey!" Kyonko shouted.

"Introduce us properly damn it!" Kyon joined in.

"Hey Itsuki-kun, hand me the camera." Haruki said and took hold of the camera.

"These are the rest of the crew, Itsuki and Itsuko Koizumi!" Haruki said, aiming at them.

"Hello everyone." Itsuki bowed.

"Nice to meet you all." Itsuko also bowed.

"You even introduced the crew?" Kyon said in disbelief. Well, this is the Suzumiya's game show so, they decide anyway.

"Well Haruki-nii, let's start the game!" Well, that takes care of that.

"Now, time for the general question game." Haruki looked through the bag and pulled out a large card.

"The theory of the Big Bang!" Haruki said what was on the card.

"That's not general!" Kyonko pointed out the ever so obvious flaw.

"Shut it." Haruhi said at her face. "Geez if you wanted something general, fine." She looked around and saw something. "What's the name of that dog?"

"That was random!" Kyon screamed.

"Ok now the time limit is thirty minutes!" Haruki said.

"That's too long!"

Now, what would you do within the thirty minutes to just think of a random name for a random dog that the two most eccentric people on the planet pointed at? Simple, find something else to do until the time is up which is what they did, basically playing cards. Who would actually spend a half hour to come up with a name anyway? Ok, a baby maybe but not a random object or being.

"Ok time's up." Haruki came up to them.

The Kyons had the dog named Pochi while the Nagatos was Shiro. Of course, they had the buzzer go off again and the lights on their heads swirled. I think their eyes were sparkling again.

"Guys, you don't need the buzzer yet." Haruki pointed it out. "Anyway the dog's name is…"

Haruhi turned around and, what do you know? The dog's gone.

"Well, of course they're gone with a time limit like that." Kyonko said.

Haruhi turned around quickly. "I'm sorry but the dog's name is Gonzales!"

"That's a lie!"

Back in the clubroom, Mikuru and Mitsuru kind of got bored and just played with Mu-chan while letting the TV still play.

"Ok now! It time for the special race, truck vs. Kyon! Who's going to win?" Haruki said happily. Ok I'm going back to that game. I want to see this.

Back in the park, Kyonko was trying to reason with the Suzumiyas.

"What crazy race is that?" Kyonko shouted. "There's no way he can win against a truck!"

"Don't worry Kyonko, it's just a mini-truck." Haruhi calmed her down. "He'll be fine."

"That's right." Haruki said finally taking out another object from the box. "Well Kyon, here's your rocket."

"That's a Firework! And what the hell does that mean?" Kyon looked at Haruhi. "I'll still lose regardless the size of the truck!" Haruki strapped the firework to his back and lit it. "Crap, it's lit!"

"Are you trying to kill my brother or something?" Kyon tried to rush to her brother to stop the fuse.

"Itsuko-chan~" Haruhi chimed for Itsuko.

"Yes ma'am!" Itsuko waited for this moment and tackled Kyonko down, holding her tightly and rubbing her face against hers. "I'm sorry Kyonko, but they said that I get to hold you as long as I want~"

The sounds of a truck could be heard. Wow, it really came. Kyon's firework went off and he was now racing against the truck. The truck was fast but the firework was just as fast. Though, this race was short lived as Kyon was now flying up into the sky and well, it did what a firework is meant to do.

"Kyon!" Kyonko screamed seeing the pretty lights of the firework. She was still struggling to get Itsuko off her though.

The Nagatos on the other hand, didn't seem like they cared much.

The Suzumiyas saluted to the boy. "Kyon, we'll never forget you." Haruki said.

"I'm not dead." Kyon came back to them, completely black now.

"Oh, you're still alive. You're pretty tough." Haruki was impressed.

"I'm a man with motivation! That firework was a close call!"

The buzzer light on the Nagatos heads went off again. It was starting to make siren sound, making them seem like an ambulance. This was actually pretty funny.

"Yuki, Yukihiko-kun, please read the mood." Haruhi said, still standing next to them.

Well, the punch line is lost. Not like I had a clue what the punch line was anyway.

**Seriously, what was the punch line in that part?**


	5. Cheats and Resurrections!

**Finally, Otaku time!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Cheats and Resurrections!**

About damn time! We finally reached the stage where I can do the part about the Nagatos being otakus. But which of the two were the ones to bring in the greatest thing in the world? I have absolutely no clue. I can assume that Yuki was the one who did ever since she figured to try one of the dating sims that she saw in Akihabara. She was even given a recommendation thanks to some blue haired girl with a cat-grin smile. Ever since, then, you would be able to notice these changes.

Anyway, back to the SOS Brigade. Mikuru was making tea while Mitsuru was having a game with Kyonko. Mikuru took both the Nagatos teas that happen to be playing a game together in front of a laptop.

"Here's your tea Nagat-" Mikuru saw the laptop and well, it was a very adult scene with a young girl and was… Actually, if you want perverted descriptions, go read an M-rated story, may it be mine or not.

"Kyonko!" Kyonko and Mitsuru turned to the dainty maid.

"Onee-chan, what's wrong?" Mitsuru asked his sister.

"Nagato-sans!"

"What about the Nagatos?" Kyonko asked.

"Well, they… Its…!" Mikuru continues to flail about until something finally came to her. "I can't tell you…"

She finally calmed down since she finally came to realize that she can't explain anything like that.

Now, that's ok. If you make sure that you don't let the teacher, or parents for that matter, know what you're playing, it's fine. Though, it was kind of a dead give away to bring every otaku merchandise you can get your hands on and have those replace the books in the book shelves.

It started off subtle, a few games and an old Super Nintendo at the top corner in one week. The next week, it was already over flowing with several more games, possibly a few mangas and animes and figures. To take it one step further, it has a Gamecube, Wii, Xbox 360 and an Atari game console. The next week, the book shelves are now filled with more games, anime and figures. It even has a few more consoles like a Play Station 3, Nintendo 64, and an Odyssey.

Damn, it almost reminds me of the Angry Video Game Nerd's collection of games and consoles.

Now, what happened to the books? On a small table in a corner now collecting dust. Sad, isn't it?

It gets better. Not too long ago, the costume rack which was kept for the Asahinas, and Kyonko's, costumes were now taken over by other costumes. While the Asahinas stand there trying to figure out how it happened, the Suzumiyas were having their own mysteries.

One time, Haruki was having lunch somewhere else and he saw Yukihiko walking by wearing a Toshiro Hitsugaya costume. Rather tall to be Hitsugaya don't you think? Yuki on the other hand was dressed as Rei Ayanami when Haruhi was going to the club. Do I see a resemblance here?

When their together, they onetime ended up doing a duo cosplay as the Tales of Graces characters, Hubert Ozwell and Sophie. Good grief, they look almost like them. Though, it did not explain how Yuki grew her hair long enough to do twin pigtails.

Haruhi met up with her brother to talk about it.

"You think that Yuki and Yukihiko-kun have other siblings?" Haruhi asked her brother as she sees them leaving the room wearing the Tales of Graces costumes.

"Maybe Quadruples?" Haruki thought about it. Wait, is it that even possible to have fraternal quadruples?

Well, enough with the twin things. Yuki was staying in the room for the time being while Yukihiko headed home early. She had a book in hand, not a manga, an actual book. Kyonko saw and had a small smile.

"Ok Nagato, you're back on the books." Kyonko said. "That's good to know. It was a kind of weird with you play-" Upon further inspection of the book it was… "That's a game reference book!" Kyonko stopped and thought about something. "But can't you play those games just by analyzing it like always?"

"That's tactless." Yuki said. Kyonko could only give a weak smile. She lifted up a game in front of her. It was called Girl Fighter 2.

Ok I made that up. I can only think that mainly because I think all the characters in that Street Fighter rip off game is all girls. I mean come on; Ryoko Asakura is based on Ryu. Even her name is a play on Ryu.

Damn it, I went off track again. Let's get back to Kyonko.

"You want me to play?" Kyonko asked and Yuki nodded. "Ok, let's play."

The game started up and they are already ready to choose their game.

"Choose your game level and character." Yuki told her what she needs to do.

"Level? I thought I'm fighting against you." Kyonko proved a good point. "What level?"

"Mine." Yuki had that sparkle again.

"What would that be? Cheat level?"

Yuki had finally finished her game and packed up. Elsewhere, a familiar being has come back to seek vengeance and finish what she started!

"The Nagatos never knew I had my own back up. Now I can finally finish what I've started and I'll get my brother for not doing anything! Ryoko Achakura is revived!" Ryoko is back, only problem was, she's the size of a football.

Resurrection, failed.

"How did this happen?" She was able to look at herself at the window, somehow. "What did I do wrong with this?" And just her luck, Yuki saw her and picked her up, to Ryoko's surprise. "Natago-san! Did you anticipate my return?"

Yuki didn't say a word and let her believe she did. She then placed her into her bag and zipped it up. In a way, she was treated like those toy dogs. It was kind of cute, so to speak.

"Let me out!"Ryoko struggled to get out of the bag. Yuki complied and unzipped her bag. Ryoko jumped up and ran away. "Hah! You releasing me will be your undoing! Once I'm fully revived, I will finally have my-"

She was stopped have way by a passing cat which was now trying to eat her.

"Help me!"

Yuki walked up to the cat and whacked it on the head, watching it run away. Ryoko was panting in slight fear of what could have happened to her. Yuki picked her up and looked at her in the eyes, rather passionately.

"S-she save m-" Now, as much as I love having my Yuri goggles on for this sort of thing, that sort of thing is reserved for Kyonko and Itsuko. Mainly because I'm still going against you Yaoi fan girls with Kyon and Itsuki but also just so I can torture Kyonko.

Anyway, Ryoko was placed back into Yuki's bag and was taken home that way, only for her own safety. Ryoko hated that this is happening to her but, whose really going to care?

Back in the apartment room of the Nagatos, Yukihiko was playing a game against Ryou Asakura. Because of what Ryoko did, he was kept under surveillance by the Nagatos just so he doesn't do the same thing as Ryoko. Ryou had no intentions to do so. He would prefer to stay and hang out with the Nagatos. Besides, things were getting fun in that house. He was enjoying the old game on the MSX, Metal Gear while Yukihiko was playing the dating sim, Nursery Rhyme.

"I'm home." Yuki called out.

"Oh, Yuki-san, go to see you home." Ryou came up and greeted her and saw Ryoko. "Is that a doll of Ryoko?"

"It's me you idiot!" Ryoko shouted at him. Yuki let her out and she jumped to attack Ryou, unfortunately, he picked her up and had her at an arm's length. "Put me down! And why didn't you follow the plan? You were meant to take over and finish the job to kill either Kyon or Kyonko!"

"You're kidding right?" Ryou gave her a weird look. "I don't want to die. I happen to like living here."

"I'm going to kill you!" Ryoko flailed about in Ryou's hands. Ryou could only laugh when this was happening.

Yukihiko was still playing his game. He looked up to see Yuki and Ryou and Ryoko, still in Ryou's hands, coming in. He noticed the now tiny Humanoid Interface.

"I'll go make dinner." Ryou said placing his tiny on a baby chair they had kept in the closet and headed to the kitchen.

"So, why did you bring me home?" Ryoko asked her captives.

"To keep you under surveillance, like your brother." Yuki gave her answer. She turned to Yukihiko to see if he agrees. He only nodded.

"Ok, I guess that's ok." Ryoko said but, she didn't like the fact that she's on a baby chair. "Um, can we change the chair?"

"That's the only one." Yukihiko answered. Finally I got him to talk.

"Don't you have another cushion or something?"

"We have one left and that is it."

"Then fold it please?"

They both agreed. Yukihiko got the other cushion and folded it in two. He then returned to his game while Yuki needed to use the toilet. Ryoko only sat there and waited for her brother to bring in dinner. Before she knew it, she was sling shot across the room because the cushion returned to its unfolded state. Yukihiko looked to see her head hit the wall.

"Do you still want the cushion?" He asked the tiny girl in pain.

Ryoko didn't answer and got the baby chair out again. She threw away the cushion and placed the baby chair where it was and sat on it in annoyance. Yuki came back and saw her back on the baby chair. She wasn't going to ask. Ryou finally returned with dinner and placed it on the table. He noticed his sister having a large lump on her head.

"How did you get that lump?" Ryou asked.

"Don't ask." She was annoyed.

Ryou shrugged and passed out the dishes of food to each person. Ryoko was given a dog bowl full of dog food. Well, talk about degrading. Ryoko was ready to crawl up into a ball and cry. Ryou finally took the bowl away, trying not to laugh.

"It's a joke." Ryou said, reassuring his sister. "Yuki-san wanted me to do it actually."

"Nagato-san, you did this?" Ryoko turned to Yuki.

She nodded. "Did you take it seriously?"

"Well, you carried me off in your bag like I was a dog so; I thought that that was how I was going to be treated."

"I see." Yuki was gotten a little sadder. Ryoko could only have a tiny sweat drop running down her head. Yuki took the dog bowl and finally got Ryoko something better to eat. "Here."

Now, Ryoko would be happy about it but there was one small problem. Actually, I think I'll leave Ryoko to explain the problem.

"YOU DIDN'T CHANGE THE BOWL!" She screamed flinging the bowl into the air.

As for everyone else, myself included, they could only say this.

"Oh."

**Well, it explains what Ryou was doing.**

**References, Obvious ones**

**Bleach**

**Neon Genesis Evaligeion **

**Tales of Graces (This is too much a dead give away)**


	6. Dodge ball, the ultimate battle!

**Who here's a dodge ball nut?**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Dodge ball, the ultimate battle!**

You know something, the SOS Brigade, despite the crazy stuff that the Kyons and the others had to go through; they don't really do much at all in that club. Kyon hasn't forgotten the number of times he counted the number of wooden panels on the floor. Kyonko though, she just had the hard work of pushing Itsuko away. Itsuki would then also try to restrain his sister away from the ponytailed girl. The Nagatos are at a laptop, currently going against each other in Girl Fighter 2. Mikuru and Mitsuru were busy having a game of chess. Haruhi and Haruki would just talk about random things. Today they were talking who would win in a fight, Chuck Norris or Batman.

Wait, that was just random! Why the hell did I add that in?

Someone was knocking on the door. Oh, that's right, it's because I just wanted to stall some time for whomever at the door to come up.

Haruki got up and opened the door. It was the computer club guys standing in front of them and they had a CD in their hand.

"We came here to challenge you guys again." The computer club president said with a serious face.

"NO!" Haruki shouted at them and slammed the door right in his face. "Man I'm bored."

"Then don't act on impulse!" Kyon told him.

Well, they were finally let into the room but Haruki doesn't look like he was neither going to listen, nor Haruhi for that matter. She was more interested in that Chuck Norris vs. Batman conversation.

"So what is it?" Haruki asked.

"Wow, thanks for letting us in. Anyway, as I said, we challenge you to dodge ball if we win, we get back our laptops!"

"Duel huh? What if we win?"

"Huh?"

"The last time you challenged us, you lost four computers. So in this duel, you got only your lives to bet with." Wow, that's pretty hardcore. "So?"

The president was in a pinch now. He didn't think that far. The best he could do is to hope they take what he does have.

"How about this!" They showed them a dried up… thing…

"Oh a mummified Kappa." Itsuko told us.

"There's a price tag on it!" Kyon noticed that it is 2000 yen. How much is that in USD?

"30% chicken bone, 40% monkey bone and 30% turtle bone." Yukihiko said giving the full details of what it is. Well, that ruined it.

"You got a deal!" The Suzumiyas answered with a glimmer in their eyes.

And just like that, they all got drag into another duel.

"Here we go." The president loaded the CD onto the computer. "This is what we're going to be playing in."

The game had high graphics, CGI animation, team management everything about it seem like a worthwhile game to play. It was close to FIFA game standards.

"This is one nice looking game." Haruhi said in awe.

"Well actually, we made it the same way we did with Day of Sagittarius. You know the dots… and lines…" The president sort of lamented on that game. "This was actually thanks to the Nagatos help."

Once Haruki heard that, he wasn't going to stand for it. He took the CD out and broke it in their faces.

"We're not going to play this game! You had help from the enemy to make this so that's not even fair!" Haruki stood strong. "If you want a dodge ball match, then let's have a real match!"

Well, may your souls rest in peace Computer club geeks.

Time for the match! The girls decided to sit it out and cheer for the SOS Brigade to victory. Well, it's not so much cheering when Itsuko is letting her hands run all over Kyonko like mad and her getting hit in the face. Yuki was… well… not very cheery. Mikuru was acting like the easily embarrassed girl that she is. Haruhi was the only one who was really cheering. The guys were going to go up against the computer club guys. Mitsuru and Itsuki were standing at the outfield.

"Well you guys, be prepared." Haruki grinned like mad. "Take this ball if you dare!" He threw the ball with such force, showing the reason why the sports clubs wanted him to join.

The president was in the line of fire and was so close to making an accident. He was sure that this was the end until something in him awakened. He was able to catch the fast ball.

"President, are you all right?" One of the members asked only to have something awaken in him as well. "W-what is this?"

"It feels like I can handle this match…!" Another member said in amazement.

"Same here." The President face began to light up to it.

"What is going on?" Kyon asked.

"The cheers from Haruhi Suzumiya and Haruki Suzumiya's thrill for battle are increasing our capabilities to a full 100%." Yukihiko gave the explanation.

"Though, if we do use full strength, we'll wear out quickly." Itsuki told him.

"Hey, is this ok?" Kyon was wondering if this is a good thing.

"I don't know what's going on but let's match it!" Haruki stood strong again.

"Hey don't do that!"

"Go give them hell guys!" Haruhi said with a cheer.

"Don't encourage him!"

With the ball now in the president's hand, he threw it with the force of a meteor on a collision course towards Kyon. Kyon was able to doge it only for the ball to be in the hands of the enemy at the other end. He threw it at Kyon as well, only for him to dodge it just like the last one. Man these balls are like bullets! Kyon was able to see the ball because of what the Suzumiyas decided to do. He saw the ball come again and caught it.

"Koizumi!" He threw up towards Itsuki only for the computer club member to catch it.

He threw it out into the air.

"Where are you throw-" The ball did a curve and was coming towards Haruki. He was able to catch it. "That was good, but now it's my turn!"

He ran towards the enemy at a speed which could be close to Sonic the hedgehog.

"Wait, how huge is this court!" Kyon shouted. I don't blame him. Haruki is running across the court like it's a football field.

"Eat this!" Haruki threw it like a missile. You can even see a red light following it.

"Supersonic ball." Yukihiko said.

"Now that's just impossible!" Kyon shouted, again. Man he does a lot of shouting.

The computer club president was able to catch the ball but he was pushed far back by the ball. Imagine a Shinku Hadouken coming towards you and you blocked it and it pushes you by the force of the collision. Now imagine a fully powered Denjin Hadouken, blocking it and get pushed about halfway across the field. That was what the blast was like. He looked up and was ready to keep going.

"This is so much fun…!" Haruki smiled. "Come on; give me the thrill of battle!"

"Don't ask for that." Kyon told him.

"Go Haruki-nii!" Haruhi kept cheering.

"I told you not to encourage him!"

Now, what happened to the others? Or at least, what happened to the least participated character which would be Mitsuru? He was just standing on his side, completely left out watching the game go back and forth at such amazing feat. Mikuru kind of picked it up and joined her brother, with tea in hand and drank together watching the game.

The sun was setting and both the SOS brigade and the computer club gang finally stop. No one won, no one lost.

"That was truly a long battle." Haruki said, watching the setting sun.

"Indeed it was." The computer club president said, standing alongside him.

"That was a great match. You were awesome." Haruki offered his hand.

"You too." He took the hand and shook on it.

And thus a friendship was form! You thought I was going to go with the anime one for this didn't you? Oh ho no no no no. The manga one is what I pulled off here.

"But we still win." Haruki said.

"Err… yeah." The computer club president nodded. Yeah, even becoming great friends now, they still lost.

As for the prize Kappa thing. Under Mikuru's request seeing that it's a really creepy dried up thing it is. They gave it back to the computer club.

"We don't want it…" The president sighed.

**Yeah, I'm thinking of adding the manga parts that were never animated. And I might do the anime episodes a little earlier only because I want to have fun. Like the dating sim part! It needed 10 heroines right? Well, I feel like I need to introduce all the girls in that one!**


	7. Body Warmth is the best!

**Here we go, another fun day.**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Body warmth is the best!**

A cold winter came. That was to be expected it's winter afterall. It's winter. Ok, that sounded it came straight from Disappearance. Well, that's not going to happen any time soon. Not unless people would like to see Haruhi-chan version of what happened in Disappearance… Actually, I would do it anyway.

Ok getting side tracked again.

Kyonko was cold. She and the winter never agreed with her at all. She headed to the clubroom first. Kyon and Itsuki were with Haruki to help out with something. It had something to do with a cooking show he wanted to do and needed them to help. She opened the door and there were the Nagatos on their laptops playing their own games.

"Hey guys." Kyonko waved at them and they only nodded. "I don't want to catch a cold but it feels just as cold in here. Do you guys feel cold?"

Upon closer inspection, they are sitting next to the window. You think that would be a little colder but the day was actually pretty sunny for the winter. They both have their animal headphones which actually doubled as earmuffs. They were also both wearing their blazer and cardigan. They've been wearing that the entire time so, yeah. Las but not least, they were both on laptops which is nice and warm. In anything, they're very warm. Now I feel like I want to cuddle Yuki.

Hey, Yuki is cute, what can I say?

"The cold is not a problem." Yukihiko answered.

"Well, you guys do look pretty warm." Kyonko said with a sweat drop. She was feeling pretty envious of them.

Yukihiko placed his laptop on the seat and walked up to Kyonko.

"Are you cold?" He asked.

"A little but I was outside for a while." Kyonko said as she placed her bag on the table.

"I see."

"Huh?" Kyonko wondered only for him to pull her into a hug.

Yuki saw this and have a sparkle in her eye. You can see hear reach into her bag and pull out a camera. Normal otaku behavior if you ask me. Kyonko, on the other hand, was currently in shock because this is the first time Yukihiko, the Humanoid Interface showed anything like affection.

"Wawawa- What are you doing…?" Kyonko would be a little bit madder than that but, her face was red and this felt nice.

Well, you people wanted some Yukihiko x Kyonko, well, here it is!

"My blazer is warm and it was in the sun for a while." Yukihiko gave his explanation. "They also say that body heat is good at times." That sounded very cute. "My game said that." Now it sounds creepy.

"What sort of game are you playing?" Kyonko was falling for the first part but the minute he mentioned game, it just didn't seem right.

_Even if it feels nice to be hugged by Nagato-kun, I can't let it happen!_

She had to think of something to get out of Yukihiko's embrace. She soon finally got something.

"I-I'm pretty warm now Nagato-kun, thanks." Kyonko pushed him away. "I got do something, excuse me!" Kyonko quickly ran off.

Kyonko was heading to the door and to cover her red face. She covered it alright. She covered it by bumping into Itsuko and has her face right in her chest.

"Oh my, Kyonko." Itsuko said as she wrapped her arms around Kyonko. Itsuko was red and smiled a perverted smile. "This isn't the place with people watching and all. And I'm not entirely ready for it either but, if you want, I'll let you have your-way-with-me~" That sounded very sexy now.

"That's not it! Let go Itsuko!" Kyonko was now having a hard time trying to get Itsuko off her.

Kyonko was finally able to get Itsuko off by knocking her out but now she was tired. The Asahinas came in later and already started serving tea.

"What's wrong with Koizumi-san?" Mitsuru asked Kyonko.

"She's just sleeping…" Kyonko said. "Leave her."

Kyonko was so tired. She didn't even care when Haruhi came in.

"I'm cold!" Well, that explains Haruhi's current situation. "Man, it's so cold out there. I need to get warm and fast." She had a quick look and there was Mikuru in sight.

Mikuru immediately shook in fear for what was next.

"Mikuru-chan, you look very warm with that dynamite body of yours~" Wow, sound anymore like a pervert why don't you. "Let me borrow you for a second~"

"W-wait, Suzumiya-san, you're eyes are scaring me…" Mikuru tried to avoid her only to be grabbed and fondled.

Haruhi was having fun but, something seemed wrong. Normally, Kyonko or her brother would have stopped her.

"You're not going to stop me?" Haruhi asked the ponytailed girl.

"It's too cold…" Kyonko said simply. "Just don't overdo it ok?"

Haruhi's eyes sparkled with glee. "Oooh-kay~" With that, she gets to have her way with Mikuru.

Wow talk about not caring at all huh? Because of that, she didn't notice Itsuko was finally conscious and was sneaking herself between Kyonko's legs. She did notice when Itsuko started talking.

"If you wanted to be warm, I know just the way~" Itsuko said, having her head move close to Kyonko's… Well, you know.

Kyonko quickly backed away from her. That was the last straw. She grabbed Itsuko by the waist from behind and soon did a German suplex on her.

"Go get warm, in hell!"

"I feel something." Itsuki said as he picked up a light.

"Kyon, move that light over there. Koizumi-kun, what's up?" Haruki asked the boy.

"Oh nothing." Itsuki answered. "Must be my imagination."

He's not a very good esper brother.

**Well, that's something that appears in the manga. Except with for the pervert Itsuko creeping up on Kyonko part. I added that myself.**

**Well, at least we got SOME Yukihiko x Kyonko.**


	8. The chronicles of Ryoko Achakura

**Cuteness time!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The chronicles of Ryoko Achakura**

Now, what ever happened to the little chibi humanoid interface that is Ryoko Achakura? She became the housewife of the Nagato household. She does all the cooking and cleaning for the Nagatos, much like a housewife. Though, there are times where she proves to be cute about things.

Right now, she was trying to clean the window, door, thing leading to the balcony of the apartment. One tiny problem about it though. She's too short to even reach 3-quarters of the door.

Ryoko sighs as she looks at what she was trying to clean.

"I guess trying to clean this was a bad idea." Ryoko said. "If only I had something to stand on or something."

At that moment, Ryou figured to have a little fun and pass a baby walker to her.

"Thanks Ryou-nii but there's a little problem." Ryoko walked up to the baby walker. "This is for babies damn it!"

"But that would help you get to higher places." Ryou gave his explanation.

"By making me a baby?" She shouted.

Yukihiko figured to at least pick her up and let her try to clean the rest of the glass. It was working.

"Thank you Nagato-kun but, having you do this would only be inconvenient for you." She said that better than I could. "If only there was some way."

Yukihiko thought it was a good time to place her into the baby walker.

"Yes, this is helpful, but don't put me in it!" Ryoko went into a tiny trantrum for being placed into the baby walker.

"Oh."

Ryoko only sighed.

"I give up. I guess having something like this is the best. I mean, it's convenient and all…huh?" Well, it is convenient but there was one tiny problem. "I can't reach the floor!"

The other members of the house were trying not to laugh. Ryou, we know he would easily laugh. Yuki and Yukihiko though, they turned around, trying very hard not to laugh. Their shoulders were going up and down though. Actually, I like to see their laughing faces. I mean, we rarely see the Nagatos show any emotions at all! This would be a perfect time to show us!

"Don't you laugh!" Ryoko couldn't stand it anymore. "Fine, I don't care about you guys anymore."

Yuki was also here, this is the Nagato household after all. Yuki had one of those toy claws and reached to the baby walker. Ryoko noticed the baby walker was moving.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Ryoko asked Yuki.

"Merry go round." Yuki said as she started spinning.

Ryoko couldn't believe that she was going to end up taking part of something so childish.

'Does she think that this would make me happy?' Ryoko started thinking about it. 'Well, I guess it is, with the speed and all. But this isn't fun!'

Yeah… If it isn't fun, why do I hear the sounds of delight coming from her?

Apparently, Yukihiko thought it was about the right time to play a song. What is that song? You spin me round (like a record). Go figure. It's just another internet victim thanks to you guys. That song gives me such a headache. Like being Rick Roll'ed… God, I don't want to think about that…

I really got to focus here.

Because Ryoko is also part of helping her brother cook, she would often think about the ingredients for what they wanted for dinner.

"Aw man, we're out of food." Ryou said as he walked out. "I'm going to buy some things. Ryoko, wanna help?"

"Sure thing." Ryoko turned to Yuki. "Is there anything you want to eat tonight?"

"Rabbit leg roti, wrapped in rognonade, with sherry and carrot puree." Yuki, you have quite the taste for food.

"Er… we'll try to get that. If all else fails, we eat curry instead ok?" Ryou figured to reason with the girl. She nodded. "Ok then."

Ryou picked up his sister and placed her into a shopping bag, like a toy dog.

"Ryou-nii, I do have to agree that the shopping bag is comfortable but DON'T PUT ME IN IT!" Ryoko shouted and threw the bag at her brother's face.

"Fine, then I guess you don't mind getting eaten by a cat." Ryou took the shopping bag and walked.

"Hey, that's not fair!" Ryoko ran after her brother to talk something out.

Well, they figured something but it meant that Ryoko had to be carried around by her brother who was sitting on his palm.

"Well, that wasn't so bad now was it?" Ryou asked his sister.

"I guess…" She sighed. "Can we just get the groceries already?"

Ryou nodded and started looking about the place.

I'm going to be lazy and just say that they got the groceries and they didn't find the extravagant food that Yuki wanted. I would actually like to see that dinner.

It was night and they didn't really have much to do. So what they all did was watch TV. Yuki had Ryoko sitting on her or something. She heard her stomach rumbled.

"Oh Yuki-san, I didn't think you were still hungry." Ryoko placed her cup on the table.

"I'll fix some ramen." Ryou said only for Ryoko to stop him.

"No, let me do it. You did enough today Ryou-nii."

Yuki finally got up which also lifted Ryoko up. Why may you ask? It's because Ryoko is in a baby carrier, bag thing. Never did figure out what that's called. It's just too cute now! Ryoko ignored it. She wasn't going to get angry. Yuki walked off to the kitchen with the little girl. Ryou and Yukihiko though, they had to vocalize their thoughts by laughing.

'Damn it!' Ryoko said to herself.

They came back with bowls of noddles for the group. Ryoko pretended like it was nothing, being carried about in the baby bag. They ate silently. This was nice. Too bad it didn't last long.

"NO WAY!" Ryoko finally shouted. "I only went along with it because it was convenient! Now let me out of it!" This was actually cute and funny. Ryou himself couldn't contain his laughter. "Stop laughing! And where do you get this stuff? From a shop that sells bags for little people or something?"

"A secret." Yuki said.

"Fine then. I'm not going to help Ryou-nii cook for you guys ever again!" That strikes a nerve with them.

Now, Ryou is a pretty good cook. It's just that Ryoko seems better. Even Ryou had to agree on it. He actually doesn't mind if Ryoko does all the cooking. Actually, he is letting her do all the cooking because he doesn't want to do it himself. Luckily, they have a plan for this.

Yukihiko changed the TV into AV1. Ryou quickly got a DVD and played it and passed a Mic to Yuki. Yuki got up and got ready.

"Hey, why are you standing?" Ryoko asked, still in the bag.

Yuki soon started singing and dancing. The song was the opening from the anime Ga-rei Zero, Paradise Lost by Minori Chihara.

Kyoto Animation, you bunch of smartasses!

'Karaoke?' Well Ryoko, what do you think? 'No way, I'm not going to fall for this! I'm not in the mood! This lively music isn't going to make me…'

"Hey, I'm up next! Yay~" She fell for it.

Ryou and Yukihiko soon started dancing themselves.

Aliens have long nights.

**Ryoko Achakura dolls now on sale only $14.55! It's like the actual thing! It sings, dance, cooking, cleaning and so much more! You can even say that it's the real thing itself!**

**Come down to your closest Anime Shop today! We'll even give a free Yuki Nagato doll! Much like the Ryoko Achakura doll, it does many things! Homework, being your gaming partner, kill giant insects that infect your computer and much more! It's just as real as the actual thing as well! Come down now while stocks last!**


	9. Cooking with the Suzumiyas

**Need I say more?**

**Cooking with the Suzumiyas**

Before you ask questions about why I jumped, I did so because when I can't think of a proper way of doing how the episodes did it, so I'll just jump and do something else. This is the something else with this story and that is cooking!

Ok, back to this.

The SOS Brigade room is empty. That's rare, the only time it's empty is when the rest head off to do something crazy. Ah well, being the author of this story, let's see what's on TV.

With the TV on, we see the Haruki and his sister, Haruhi on screen. So that's where they were. Wait, when did the school have a studio?

"Hello everyone." Haruhi greeted us. "Welcome to the SOS Brigade cooking show. I'm your host, Haruhi Suzumiya."

"And her brother, Haruki Suzumiya." He bowed down. "Alongside us is Kyon, our assistant."

"Hello everyone." He greeted us as well, in a bored tone.

"Well today, we're going to show you how to make a simple, healthy and nutritional meal."

"Wow, how ambitious."

"So everyone out there, please take out your pen and paper to take notes." Haruki took out what he needed. "Now first, take a packet of instant noodles."

"Hold on! That's not healthy!" Kyon pointed out the obvious flaw.

"Now open it." Haruki threw into the air over Kyon's head. "Yuuki-kun."

Yukihiko, wearing a full samurai outfit, had a sword pointing straight up at the air. The packet came in contact with the mere tip of the blade and in an instant, the packet was cut open. That was pretty cool if not completely unnecessary.

Haruhi walked up to the packet that was cut opened. "Now that the packet is open, let's take out the noodles." She took it out only to see it in quarters. "Huh, they're already broken. Must be defective."

"Or maybe the sword had something to do with it." Kyon pointed out.

"Ah, and I wanted to do it myself. Ah well, it'll save Yuuki-kun the trouble."

"You wanted to do that?"

"Anyway, Haruki-nii had already set up the pot over there. We just have to cook the noodles for about 50 hours!" Haruhi said as she threw in the noodles.

"That's too long!" Kyon complained.

"Don't worry Kyon." Haruki told him. "We already got a pre-ready pot so the people would think it's simple so it's ok."

"How is that ok?"

"Anyway, Mikuru-chan, could you please bring the pot over here?" Haruki called out to the dainty maid.

"Ok" Mikuru replied.

She found the pre-ready pot and was taking it over the stage. Of course, nothing good ever comes to this group as she tripped, sending the pot into the air and spilling the contents on the floor. Well, it's just not Mikuru unless she trips and spills the contents everywhere right? Ok maybe not.

"Ok then, let's just assume that the noodles we had in this pot was cooked for 50 hours." Haruki said. Actually, I can't see him, Mikuru's in the way.

"As you can see, the noodles are softer, easier to digest and healthy to eat." Haruki showed us the bowl.

"Actually that's cooked for the required time but I see where you're going with this." Kyon said, having a look at it.

"Well, next up we'll show you the finishing touches, after these messages." Haruhi said.

Wait, when does a school have ads?

Anyway, Kyonko and Mitsuru were currently trying to comfort the poor maid while Itsuki was trying to prepare the stage with what was needed. Haruhi and Haruki were discussing about, actually I can't seem to hear them. Kyon and Itsuko was just having a rest and were watching Yuki throwing random things at Yukihiko with the sword in hand.

"Actually, Nagato-kun, why do you have a sword anyway?" Kyon asked.

"Oh, the Suzumiyas asked for a sharp knife so, I asked the organization for one." Itsuko said. "Of course, it wasn't what I was expecting."

"You could have just gotten one from the store!" Kyonko said, very close to take the sword and cut the girl for something stupid.

"Calm down Kyon-kun. I'm sure that it's safe… I think."

"You think?" Kyon sighed. "Any way, let me try that sword."

"Homing mode is set on the sword." Yukihiko told him as he handed the sword over. "It can cut anything into any shape."

Itsuko soon had an idea. "Then Kyon-kun, cut this radish into a person."

"Ok let's give it a sh-" Kyon soon had his wrist completely twisted back and spinning around madly. Now, that's just psychically impossible.

"Attention to detail will place strain on the wrist and will take long hours of practice to perfect it." Yukihiko explained.

"But the way the wrist bended…" Itsuko was still pretty baffled by it. "So, are you well trained to use it?"

"Yes." Yukihiko took the radish and threw it into the air.

In a flash, after images of the blade could be seen as the radish was cut down. It took a form of a tiny looking Mitsuru serving tea.

"I can even do tiny food art." Ok, that's pretty cool.

"Right then!" Kyon was finally backed in form and took the sword in hand again. "This time I'll get it!"

"Kyon-kun, I think you should put the sword down." Itsuko tried to convince him.

"Oh but I finally figured it out! Shaping must be done in the air!"

Kyon threw another radish into the air. He had the sword ready only for him to be launched into the air. Well, so much for that plan but then again, that sword is on homing mode after all. Kyonko finally came up to Yukihiko and Itsuko.

"Hey we're ready to go again." Kyonko said. "Where's my brother?"

Yukihiko pointed up. Kyonko looked up and saw her brother coming down. She braced herself for the impact. She got lucky as her brother hit the ground. Kyon was in pieces, or rather, his arms are in massive pain. As for the radish it was still in one piece.

Kyon finally got up from the floor and walked towards to the stage, in pain. Kyonko turned to Itsuko and Yukihiko.

"What happened here?"

"Oh nothing." Itsuko said, having a few ideas as she looked at the sword.

Ok, time to finally bring this to an end shall we? Itsuki moved the camera towards the Suzumiyas and Kyon. Haruhi seemed to have lost all interest now since she has a manga in her hand. Haruki, he only huffed with a smile.

"Well, time for the finishing touches." Haruki said ever so enthusiastically. "Just add in these healthy looking stuff."

"Hey!" Kyon shouted at him. "Be specific!"

"Now you cook it for 5 days."

"That's longer than cooking the noodles!" Kyon, you complain a lot.

"Now since Mikuru-chan is still resting, Mitsuru-kun, show us what you can do!"

Well, we know if Mikuru was to come in with the pot it's not going to turn out well. Mitsuru should do a better job! 'Should' happen to be the key word here.

'I'm not going to screw up here! Don't worry Onee-chan, I'll do fine!' Mitsuru thought to himself.

Luckily for them, the pot that Mikuru dropped is removed so he's not going to trip pat all. What? Where you hoping for him to fall or something? Anyway, Mitsuru placed on the table on the stage and walked off to the back.

Haruhi finally put down the manga and stood up from her chair. "Now everyone, allow us to show you what the final result of our simple, healthy and nutritious meal."

Haruhi walked up to the pot only for her leg to get caught in the chair's leg. She fell and knocked the pot. The pot fell conveniently on top of Kyon. What happened next is, well, what normally happens when something really hot is poured on you?

Ok I'm bored now. What's on the next channel?

**Just so you know, it's really easy to do!**


	10. Originals vs Genderbents!

**Wow, that is a lot of girls.**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Originals vs. Gender-bents!**

At a park not too far away from the train stations, the SOS Brigade and other invited guest are preparing themselves for what looked like an athletic festival of some kind. I say that because I'm looking at… nine girls and nine guys in PE shirts. The nine are all the fraternal twins that wish to take part and that are the Suzumiyas, Asahinas, Nagatos, Koizumis, Tsuruyas, Kunikidas, Taniguchis and all four Kyons siblings making a total of eighteen people. Good lord, this is a hell lot bigger than the last one.

"Ok! Thank you all for coming to the first SOS Brigade sponsored event: Wow, an athletic meeting with a lot of girls!" Haruki said it yet, it sounded fairly perverted when a guy does that.

The large crowd applauded. Unfortunately, normal bystanders, such as the young boy and sister standing by their mother, where seeing this huge crowd. The son turned to his mother and asked.

"What are these weird people doing?" Wow, straight out with it.

"Don't look at them." The mother said, quickly heading to the playground.

Kyonko was actually paying attention to what the family behind them was talking. It was bad enough when it was in school but this is just degrading to the point where she should just stay home and ignore everything.

"Now everyone, please line up here." Haruhi called them all to a box. "Take only one and find the other members to be your team."

Everyone took the small piece of paper with the colour of the team that they were going to be in. Kyonko looked at hers and saw that she was going to be in red.

"Who else is in red?" Kyonko called out.

Hands were raised in the air. She was looking at the owners and saw it was Kunikida-chan, Yukihiko, Tsuruya-kun, Ototo, Itsuko, Haruki and Mitsuru.

About time, I found a way to separate the originals and their gender opposites!

The white team was made up of Kunikida-kun, Kyon, Haruhi, Itsuki, Tsuruya-chan, Mikuru, Imouto and Taniguchi-kun.

I was serious when I said Originals verses Gender-bents.

"Um Suzumiya." Taniguchi-chan called out. "Why is mine a different one?"

"Oh, that's a short straw." Haruhi told her.

"What?"

"You have to do the task that the card says. Once done, you can draw again."

Taniguchi-chan looked at the card. The test was to sing all thirteen verses of 'Road'. Who here knows that song I wonder?

"Now go find a corner and start singing." Haruhi said as she walked back to her group.

"It's quite the coincidence that Haruhi-san is in the other team."Itsuko whispered to Kyonko.

"Yeah sure." Kyonko didn't seem to care.

"What is really odd is that I feel really good about being in this team."

"Maybe because I'm here with you?"

"Well, that but it also feels like we're facing our other self."

Itsuko, you have no idea.

"Right, now that we're in our teams, it's time to start the first game!" Haruki said as he took a different box. "We're going to start with a scavenger hunt match."

"Leave that to me everyone!" Tsuruya-chan shouted.

"Well Kyonko, good luck out there." Kunikida-chan waved at her.

"Yeah Kyonko, show them what you got!" Ototo cheered.

"Do your best!" Mitsuru cheered as well.

Yukihiko only waved.

"Wait, me?" Kyonko looked at everyone with disbelief.

"Now draw the thing from the box but don't open until I give the signal." Haruki watch them take a small piece of paper each from the box. "Ready? Go!"

The signal was given and they both opened the small paper. Kyonko was an 'Emotional Barrier'.

"That's not an object!" Kyonko shouted. "Oh whatever!" Kyonko immediately started looking at the people who she could use.

Oh goody! It's time for Kyonko to choose one person from either team to be the used for the emotional barrier! Let's look at her options shall we?

She can choose the Suzumiyas. There was Haruhi who would probably think that it was a form of flirting and she had this feeling that Haruhi thinks she's a lesbian anyway. Then there's Haruki… no, forget it, never again! It was bad enough she had to do it in a dream world or whatever. She's not going to do it in public!

The Kunikidas? No, they happen to be the most logical people out of the entire group and they would understand why they were chosen and in the end not feel fazed about it.

The Nagatos? She doubts they would even understand what is going on.

The Asahinas would immediately blush and think of it as a huge misunderstanding and she doesn't want to explain the reason she chose them.

The Taniguchis? Forget it. No way is she going to do it with those idiots.

The Koizumis? Ok, that just seems wrong in so many levels. Doing it with Itsuki just seems weird and Itsuko, she would probably mount her and fondle her madly the minute she hears those words.

Tsuruya-kun? That guy actually has quite the ego on him. That ego is just as bad as Haruki so no.

The last choice is her siblings. Ototo and Imouto are still quite young to understand the reasoning for doing it. Then there's her fraternal twin Kyon, the one who she has a thing for and probably the best choice as well as he's the one who has the same mind set as she does. She's very sure that Kyon would turn her down just fine because there's no way he would take it seriously in THAT sense. It also doubles as her way to finally move away from her little brother fetish as well.

"Kyon, come with me!" Kyonko took her brother's arm and crossed the finish line.

Haruki walked up to Kyonko. "Let's see what the thing you needed is." Haruki took the paper from her.

Haruhi walked up to Haruki and looked at the paper and read it out loud. "Emotional barrier… So why Kyon?"

"Ok…" Kyonko braced herself for it because this is going to sting. Kyonko looked at her brother with really passionate eyes and finally let out her true feelings with this. "Kyon... I love you."

Now, normally, when a brother or sister confess their love for their sibling, the one who doesn't have the same feeling as they have would turn them down and explain why they shouldn't do something like that. Kyon on the other hand, took it really seriously as he was standing there completely speechless. Kyonko looked at her brother and saw something in his eyes, something truly caring and what looked like happiness. That can't be good.

What? I told you girls before; I'm at war against all those Yaoi KyonXItsuki fans out there! I'll do whatever it takes to not pair them in this or the other! And we get to have some KyonXKyonko that someone wanted!

"W-wait… you shouldn't…!" Kyonko backed away from her brother a little. "It's great that you somehow feel the same but you should be rejecting me…!" She muttered under her breath.

Haruhi and Haruki on the other hand, something snapped. It was a very loud snap. Kyonko turned to them and saw possibly the most frightening look on their faces.

"No listen to me! There should be an emotional barrier here!" Kyonko waved her arms up and down between her and Kyon.

I actually had a quick look at some of the last few scans of the manga. The translator's note said that the Kanji for emotional barrier literally means heart barrier or heart of wall. The actual meaning is closed to forbidden love. Oh boy…

"Attention everyone!" Ototo took a megaphone that the Suzumiyas had. "Haruhi-chan and Haruki-kun had both fainted. Please bear with us for the time being."

"I'm sorry Kyonko, Kyon. Both me and my sister have to take care of a rather large Closed Space right now." Itsuki said with a smile but he looked very terrified about his job.

"I'm sorry." Kyonko bowed down at the poor guy.

Kyon looked behind Itsuki and saw Itsuko curled up in a ball. "Is she going to be ok?"

"She'll be fine. Come along Itsuko."

"No, let me stay!" Itsuko shouted. "Kyonko! How can you do this to me?"

"None of that! Come on!" Itsuki had to drag his sister out of the park.

"S-should we take the Suzumiyas to the hospital?" Mitsuru asked, worried about them.

"I-I think they're fine." Kyonko gave a weak laugh.

Yukihiko walked up to them. "Due to Haruhi and Haruki Suzumiya's logic, the world is saved from destruction, only barely."

"You serious?" Kyon looked at him, pretty worried.

Taniguchi-chan finally came back after singing the song. Kunikida-kun, his sister and Taniguchi-kun saw her coming up.

"Hey Taniguchi-chan." He greeted the girl.

"Hey… Just let me draw again ok?" Taniguchi-chan said. "So was there anything I missed?"

"A lot happened while you were singing sis." Taniguchi-kun told her.

"Ok, draw this." Kunikida-kun pointed the Scavenger box at her direction.

Taniguchi-kun put her hand into the box. She got a piece of paper and took it out. She opened it up and it read a Kappa. That dried up thing again? Really?

"What's this?" Taniguchi-chan asked.

"You're meant to look for it and borrow and finish."

"Seriously?" Taniguchi-chan sighed. "I hate this…"

Haruhi and Haruki got up from the floor, finally back to themselves.

"Yeah, we're sorry for fainting." Haruhi smiled.

"Sorry for making you all worry." Haruki said. "But, I can't seem to remember why I did it."

"Same here." Actually, that's a good thing.

"Anyway, since we're back, let's go do some tug-of-war!" Haruhi said with a smile.

"We did not bring a rope." Yuki reminded them. "It was too heavy."

"That's ok. Let's use Kyon!" Haruhi grabbed hold of one arm.

Haruki soon took the other arm. "Yes, let's use him!"

"Wait a minute!" Kyon tried to get away only to be pulled back into the Suzumiyas.

"You happen to be the prize." Haruhi smiled. "Whoever lets go first, get's to keep you for themselves."

"I'm in!" Kyonko shouted.

"You should be trying to help me!" Kyon then turned to Haruki. "What about you? Why are you doing this Haruki?"

"I'm just doing this to settle some personal issues." Haruki had a rather wicked smile.

"Hey!" Kyon shouted as he was now off the floor. "You two didn't really forget did you?"

"Let's go!" Haruhi and Haruki shouted and started to tug away.

His body was off the ground and his limbs are being pulled. He swore that it was like they were really trying to rip him up. Haruki and Haruhi had his arms while Kyonko and Yuki had his legs. Yukihiko joined in and helped his sister. The Kunikidas and Taniguchi-kun sat it out. Imouto and Ototo helped out their elder sister Kyonko. The Asahinas were very worried about Kyon as they watched him screaming in pain each time they tugged. And the Tsuruyas were helping the Suzumiyas, Tsuruya-chan with Haruhi and Tsuruya-kun wuth Haruki.

"In the ancient times, mothers who wanted custody for a child would tug on them. If the mother who let's go due to unable to withstand the child's pain get's to have keep them." Haruhi gave a quick explanation. "But I get what I want even if I break it!"

"Then what the hell was with that explanation!" Kyon, I don't blame you there.

"Well he's my brother and he belongs to me only!" Kyonko is scaring me now.

"What wrong with you! Snap out of it!"

"Haruhi Suzumiya had wished to keep you and in turn caused Kyonko into a rival." Yuki gave an explanation.

"Then what about you?" Kyon shouted.

"I too have been turned into a rival." Yuki, your eyes are sparkling.

"That's a lie!" I agree on this.

Haruki was singing some really weird song as he pulled Kyon's arm. "Look over here! Look over here! Look at Kyon ripping in two!" Ok, I'm very scared.

"That's scary!" Kyon shouted at the boy. "What the hell are you singing?"

"Taring." Yuki said.

"I am tearing!"

"This is the end!" Haruhi shouted as Kyon was suddenly flung into the air. As for the tearing part, let Kyon tell you what happened.

"My clothes! They tore off…" Poor guy.

The young little boy who was playing in the part with his sister saw this and was just amazed about what happened.

"Hey kid, don't get too attached to your sister." Kyon told him.

The boy saluted to him, taking in the words of wisdom.

As for what happened to Taniguchi-chan, she just stole the Kappa from the Computer Club. The head freaked out about it but Taniguchi-chan had something to do so she can give this back once it's over. She ran back to the park with the Kappa in her hand.

"I'm done!" Taniguchi-chan said, panting. The sad thing is, everyone already left. "Can I go home now…?"

**And the winner is: No one because it turned into a catfight for Kyon instead!**


	11. the Ultimate Show everyone can watch!

**Time for a new show!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The ultimate show everyone can watch!**

Man, this place really is my only world to go crazy. Ah well, at least I get to have a good laugh and so does everyone else.

Hold on, this isn't the place to tell my life story! Stupid get back to work!

The SOS Brigade was having another typical meeting. When I say typical, it means that the Suzumiyas are coming up with a terrible idea that they think is good.

"Ok, seeing that every time we try to do a quiz show, Kyon always seems to get himself blown up." Haruki pointed it out.

"Not only that, Kyonko herself is always being stalked by another girl." Haruhi said. "So we had officially decided to make a drama to avoid Kyon exploding and to use Kyonko's stalkable status as well."

"You make it sound like I want to blow up!" Kyon shouted.

"And I'm not being stalked, you ordered Itsuko to go after me!" Kyonko shouted at them.

"Anyway." Haruki cleared his throat. "Everyone will share their own ideas." Great… this is going to be a long one… "Kyon, you first."

"Me?" Haruki and Haruhi were playing checkers. "You're not even paying attention!" Kyon sighed. "Well, this is an old idea but, how about a story with a dying hero?"

"Haruki coughed out blood. "That's brilliant!"

"Wow, you actually liked it."

"A story where he knows how long he's going to live. Great work Kyon. It's amazing…"

"Stop that, you're starting to embarrass me."

"You better rest first Haruki-nii." Haruhi had to calm down her brother. "Itsuki, your turn. See if you can top it off."

"Sounds interesting." Itsuki said with a smile. "How about a love-hate drama?"

Haruhi was now coughing up blood. Is this a theme or something with the Suzumiyas and blood? "Bloody plunders of love! Love turn to hatred! It's perfect!" Ok now you're just exaggerating.

"Whoa, Haruhi, take it easy." Kyonko told her.

"Well, since we're on the topic, let's go with a homosexual relationship." Itsuko said having a glimmer in her eye as she turned to Kyonko.

"Broken hearts mended by forbidden love!" Haruki was revived, only to cough up blood again.

"Oh no you don't!" Kyonko stopped her. "Then how about a forbidden love between brother and sister!" She soon realized how much of a bad idea that is and covered her mouth.

What? Screwing with Kyonko like this is just so much fun!

"You made me say that you bastard!" Kyonko's shouting at me but, I don't care.

"That's an even better idea!" Haruhi's turn to cough up blood. Wow, these two are going to die due to blood loss if this keeps up.

"Everything is very fuzzy but, it'll pass…" Haruki said slowly getting up from the desk, even though there's blood coming out of his mouth.

"If everything's fuzzy then you should rest!" Kyon tried to settle him down.

"Otaku." Yuki said and Haruhi coughed up blood.

You know, I'll just do this and say that the Suzumiyas alternates on coughing up blood. It's too annoying to say that they cough up blood after what the others have to say.

"Action." Yukihiko said next.

"Maid." Mikuru said next.

"Butler." And Mitsuru was last.

"Supplying to the male and female otaku world with mind blowing action! Welcome master…" Haruki said now slowly dying in his and his sister's blood. That's just wrong.

Before we can even continue, the twins were immediately taken out of the building and to the hospital, just so they don't die.

It's the next day and they both are finally backed to their feet with a script. How they can get a script going after losing a lot of blood and in one day, we'll never know.

"Ok everyone, here's the script. It has all the key ideas that you all gave us." Haruhi said. "All you have to do now is just read it."

"And the name of it is 'Gift of the Maid 2, stealing love within a month of death!" Haruki finished it off.

"Why a sequel?" Kyonko questioned them. "And that subtitle sounds like a TV show!"

"As you can tell, it's a kung-fu drama!" Haruhi said reading it.

"Like hell we can!" Kyon told her.

"And it's also about plundering love!"

"Now it sounds refreshing…"

"And the best thing is everyone is cross-dressing as butlers and maids!" Haruki added. Well… that's just sad.

"We're cross-dressing!" Kyon shouted in fear.

"These people hired their maids and butlers in pairs and some are so eccentric that they ordered them to cross-dress, meaning the guys are maids while the girls are butlers. They soon wanted to prove that their pair is the best and set up a battle royal."

"There has got to be a more butler and maid like way to prove it." Kyonko told them.

"So these characters only have a month to live then?" Mitsuru had a quick read of the script.

"A month to do what they want." Haruki had an evil chuckle.

"I heard that! Just dry up and die!" Kyonko shouted again.

"Then what about the plundering love?" Mikuru asked Haruki.

"There will be a winner there so they can pair up that way."

"I guess. But the winners of this seemed to be Kyon-kun and Kyonko."

"They have a strong bond between them and they would do anything to be together forever so yeah."

"Huh?" I think Mikuru and Mitsuru's head just went up in smoke.

It was at this point where they came up to Mu-chan who was sitting on the table and petted him on the head. It was so confusing that they just gave up and stopped thinking.

"I think we better have a look at the first scene." Itsuko said, looking at the script.

"Let me read." Kyon did.

The scene starts with Kyon facing the Nagatos alone while Kyonko is being held captive by the Itsuko Koizumi. We're going to be realistic as possible here so no pulling punches. Itsuko is trying to rape Kyonko and make her all hers. Kyon on the other hand was taking a beating as Yukihiko and Yuki did a double Nagato chop. He will suffer 52 fractures. With luck, he will be able to power up using the medical energy which barely defeats the Nagatos. Despite his extensive injuries, he will go search for his sister and will able to save her just before Kyonko's virginity was taken by Itsuko. What had happen during the time of the fight with Itsuko and Kyonko is all up to them.

"I sound very much dead here…" Kyon was scared while the Nagatos were practicing the double Nagato Chop.

"I can do what I want during the fight scene with Kyonko…" Itsuko was evilly giggling at the thoughts that blooming in her head. Frightening isn't it?

"I'm literally screwed…" Kyonko had waterfall tears.

The day of the shooting! We are looking at the scene where Kyonko is about to be raped by Itsuko who, happens to have a bag filled with BDSM equipment and an evil smile on her face.

"Go ahead, scream, no one's going to hear you." Itsuko said with that smile.

The door behind Itsuko closed. We then turn to the fight between Kyon and the Nagatos. The Nagatos delivered the double Nagato Chop, with Kyon taking the full blow of the attack. He then used the medical energy which had special effects. The special effect was actually an explosion a he scattered into the air, again.

"And it ended with another explosion." Haruki said with a sigh.

**Be sure to tune in next time for the next episode of Gift of the Maid 2! Wait… Nevermind, it's been cancelled.**


	12. The origins of Mu chan

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The Origins of Mu-chan**

Have you ever wondered where the miniature pet lion Mu-chan came from? I did and now, I know! That's because I actually have a copy of Haruhi-chan Suzumiya English translated! Please go to your closest manga/anime store and get your own copy today!

Ok done advertising, let's get the show on the road.

It started back when Haruhi and Haruki had snuck into the school and taking the chalk dust and the line marker. They were drawing something again on the field, you can't see it on ground level, it just look like a mess. So instead, Kyon looked outside the window from his seat with his sister who dropped something off for him. What they saw was a really kiddy drawn lion. In that instant, both Kyon and Kyonko ran out of the building and towards the Suzumiyas.

"Hey guys, look what we did!" Haruki waved at them only for Kyonko to come doing a spinning drop kick into the gut.

"YOU IDIOT!" She shouted.

"There's a limit to how many times you can do this!" Kyon said whacking Haruhi on the head. "Erase this right now!"

"No wait! There's a reason for this!" Haruki got up. "We did this to make contact with the Infinity lions. They travel through space. So to show that we are friendly, we have to draw a large pictograph."

"Is that so?" Kyonko asked.

"Yes! They also move like comets!"

And just by luck, an Infinity lion did come crashing down like a comet, right on the picture. That's not good. Kyon and Kyonko had to make sure that the Suzumiyas don't see it. To do that, they dropped kicked them in the head. They then dragged them back to the building and at the entrance.

"I'll go find the Nagatos, you take care of those two." Kyonko told him.

Kyonko ran to the Nagatos classroom and immediately grabbed them by the arms.

"Did you see that?" Kyonko pointed out the window. They both nod.

"Help us get rid of it then!"

"Leave it to me." Yukihiko said as he stood up.

He then jumped out of the window ever so dramatically and ran towards the lion. He soon did a quick chant and it just disappeared.

What? You want action? Go read Naruto or Bleach, there's plenty of action in that.

"That was anti-climatic." Kyonko said. "What did he do to it?"

"He teleported the Infinity lion somewhere else." Yuki told her. "It is an endangered species so it must be protected."

"Ok then." Kyonko gave a sigh and walked out of the room.

Kyon was able to explain to the Suzumiyas that they fainted. They actually agreed to it and just walked off to their class.

Now let's skip the boring part and head to the clubroom. The Suzumiyas had to do cleaning duty so it means that the gang is resting in the clubroom. Mikuru was watching infomercials on the TV that they got in the room while Mitsuru made the tea this time.

"And next we have this lamp which the once belong to Aladdin! When you rub this lamp, you will get a genie that will grant you any of your wishes!" The host of the show announced. Of course, no one is stupid enough to buy such an obvious sales gimmick. "And if you purchase this we'll also give you a free tea set for 30, 000 yen!"

The next day.

"And that's why I bought this lamp." Mikuru said with a smile.

"I believed you've been tricked Asahina-sempai." Kyonko told her.

"Now come on Genie-san, please come out."

"Of course nothing's going to come out!"

I take that back, she is an idiot.

Yukihiko, who was back to his cosplay as a wizard came up to Mikuru with the Starling Inferno.

"Oh, you can make the Genie-san appear?" Mikuru asked the alien. Yukihiko nodded. "Oh thank you Nagato-san."

With a wave of the wand, the lamp began to shake. In no time, a little lion soon started to appear out of the lamp.

"So that's where you teleported it!" Kyonko shouted at him.

"It is safer this way." Yukihiko told her.

How is it safer like this?

Anyway, Mikuru and Mitsuru ended up keeping the Infinity lion and officially naming it Mu-chan. For the next few days, they took care of it like any pet owner would do really. By Friday, it was time to show the guys what they been doing.

"Hey Kyon, check this out." Mitsuru called him over. "Come on out Mu-chan."

Mu-chan soon appeared out of the lamp, much like a genie.

"You guys really tamed him." Kyon said although, it was kind of odd. "But even so, if the Suzumiyas find out about him, we'd be in big trouble."

"Your right." Mitsuru said in agreement.

Kyon nodded only to notice a yellow headband and soon saw Haruki with his mouth wide open. They're in trouble now.

"S-S-Something came out of the lamp!" Haruki said in amazement.

"No wait Haruki listen it's…" Kyon had to think of something. He soon turned to Yuki watching all of this. "Nagato, help us out here!"

She nodded and walked up. "It's a magic trick." You have got to be kidding me.

"Oh that makes sense now."

"He believed it!" Kyon said in amazement. Hell, I'm amazed myself.

And that everyone is the story on how Mu-chan came to being. Odd isn't it?

**So if you want your very own Mu-chan, then make a giant pictograph of a the Infinity Lion, wait for it to come like a comet, have your alien friend teleport it into a lamp and have him get it out again! It's just like taking care of a car or a dog, except it's an extraterrestrial.**


	13. Rivals and Rangers

**That's quite the Rs**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Rivals and Rangers!**

You know, I think it's about time I get to the rivals of the cosplayers, or at least, Mikuru and her rivalry with the Nagatos. Mikuru came up to Kyon with some of the costumes that didn't belong to her or her brother at all. I was going to do a Christmas special but then I thought, screw it! I haven't even gotten to the Halloween bit even so yeah.

Anyway!

"Kyon-kun." Mikuru called. "I ended up finding more costumes than normal."

"Oh, those belong to the Nagatos." Kyon answered. "They've been doing this sort of thing for a while."

"Oh is that so?" Mikuru said. "I see… Thank you Kyon-kun." Kyon wondered what was that aura was about around her.

Mikuru walked up to her brother.

"Oh Onee-chan, what's up?" Mitsuru asked. He also noticed something really scary about her. "Um, onee-chan?"

Mikuru didn't say a word and just grabbed him by the collar. Before he knew it, the screams of fear could be heard.

Kyonko, who just got into the room, was immediately taken by surprise by the Mitsuru serving her tea in his butler outfit.

"Please have some tea." Mitsuru said in a melancholic tone.

"What's wrong Asahina-sempai?" Kyonko asked.

"Look behind me." Kyonko turned around and saw Mikuru serving tea to Kyon in her nurse costume.

"Kyon-kun, have some tea!" Mikuru said.

"Oh thanks." Kyon took it simply. Mikuru turned around and saw Yuki walking by in a cheongsam and Yukihiko in shaolin monk clothes. In a flash she turned to Mitsuru who flinched. "Onii-chan!"

"Yes!" Mitsuru said but first turned to Kyonko. "Save me…" With that, he ran to his sister.

Kyonko only pitied the boy as he was soon forced into another costume. She watched them change in one costume after another, competing with the Nagatos and failing every time as the Nagatos always seem to get one up on them. It was getting to the point where it got ridiculous as the Nagatos were going by in a large wooden frame of a fairy and a prince. Good grief, I wish I had something like that.

Before long, Mikuru and Mitsuru finally came up to the Kyons after failing.

"I give up…" Mikuru said as she came up to the Kyons.

"What do you me-hean!" Kyon was taken by surprise seeing the Asahinas in the frog costumes while the Nagatos go by with Yuki as Godzilla and Yukihiko as King Ghidorah.

I swear the Nagatos have the best costumes.

"I guess we never stood a chance against the Nagatos at all." Mikuru went against the wall while Mitsuru tried to comfort her.

"Please Onee-chan, don't cry." Mitsuru patted her on the back.

As for the Kyons, they are just trying not to laugh at them in such stupid costumes.

"No, it's fine you two." Kyonko tried to talk. "I mean, as long as it fits you, it's ok…. Just be confident…" You know how hard it is to not laugh when something like that happens?

"Really!" Mikuru just jumped at her with that costume.

You know up close, it looks like a bear… Don't tell me pedobear escaped.

Now to add in something that never appeared in animated form! It's the many chapters never shown from the manga, sad I now but that means you get to see it in this fanfic!

Moving on.

We all know that the Koizumis are actually espers who are sent to keep an eye on the Suzumiyas from doing anything drastic. We also know that they battle with Shinjins in Closed Space which only the Suzumiyas can create due to being annoyed or bored or anything which upsets them. This was nothing special except…

"Haruki-nii! Look!" That's right; the Suzumiyas are in this Closed Space again.

"It's terrible. They're completely destroying the city." Haruki agreed with his sister and watched the Shinjin destroy everything.

"Don't worry; this is where those guys show up." Kyon told them. Yes, even Kyon and Kyonko is part of this.

How did they get into this mess again? The only thing I can think of is that they walked into a Closed Space instead of entering it like they did the last time.

Anyway, the Suzumiyas were wondering what he was talking about until they saw people standing on the building.

We are now looking at five people standing heroically wearing what looked like skin-tight leather costumes with a scarf and that two of them looks ever so familiar. As a matter of fact, it's Itsuki and Itsuko Koizumi!

"We the Esper Rangers are here to save the day!" Itsuki said with vigor.

"Wow, he's really into this." Kyonko said.

Haruhi and Haruki were just in complete awe seeing them.

"Transform!" Itsuki said as they all jumped into the sky.

The five Rangers began to transform and turned into their respective colours, Itsuki being red and Itsuko being pink with helmets covering their heads. Man, I need to get back on my Power Rangers of Haruhi Suzumiya fan fic.

"How can we tell the difference when they all glow red?" Kyonko pointed the obvious.

"Awesome!" The Suzumiyas said in amazement.

"Let's get their autograph!" Haruki said.

"I'm with you!" Haruhi followed.

"Hold on you two!" Kyon stopped them.

"Ok everyone!" Itsuki ordered. "Blue, attack from behind, Itsuko, cover him. Green, flank him from the left! Yellow is curry!" What the hell! Yellow is curry? Is that supposed to be a codeword of something?

"Forget that, they're all red!" Kyon shouted. "How the hell can we tell the difference?"

"Pathetic humans! Have at you!" The Shinjin talked…

"Everyone is so worked up here!" Kyonko shouted in annoyance.

You know, this seems like so much fun to see them beat up the Shinjin but, let's skip that and say that the next day rolled in. Kyon and Kyonko were still tired from yesterday but, they can't really complain about it anymore. Kyon opened the door and saw Haruki dressed up much like what Itsuki was wearing before the transformation thing.

"Sup guys!" Haruki greeted them.

"What the hell are you guys wearing?" Kyon shouted at them.

"What the Esper rangers showed us the true meaning of passion!" Haruhi said with a smile.

"That's right so from now on, call us the Red Leaders!" Haruki gave a thumb up.

This was starting to get even more tiring for the Kyons. Kyon got tired the most and figured to ignore them while Kyonko tried to stop them from scaring the Asahinas coming through the door. Like it's going to be that simple.

Before Kyon could even sit down, Yuki came up to him in with twin pigtails, long ones while her brother was sitting with a laptop on his lap with one long ponytail… Dear lord how the hell did they grow their hair that long that fast?

"Onii-chan." Yuki said in a monotone voice… Damn it all with her cuteness!

"Nagato… Are you having fun…?" Kyon asked the alien girl.

"Yes." She said while patting him on the head.

"I figured…" Kyon just sighed and got up from the floor.

Yuki then produced a game in her hand and gave it to Kyon.

"I'll lend you this." Yuki said.

Kyon had a look at the cover on it and started too bright up a little. Guess it wasn't such a bad day after all. But little does he or his sister knows that they about to be seeing more of those rangers and soon.

To be continued…

"What the hell!" Kyonko shouted. "There's more?"

**Of course there's more! The Esper Rangers will return!**


	14. Red Ranger's last stand and return!

**Now to continue the story of the Esper Rangers!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Red Ranger's last stand and return!**

When we last saw our intrepid heroes, they had returned from a long ongoing battle against the Shinjin in the Closed Space created by the Suzumiyas. Though, it still doesn't explain how they even got in there. Sure, I thought of a good reason but who knows?

Anyway!

The Esper rangers have once again returned to the Closed Space to battle against the newest Shinjin to appear.

"Go Esper Rangers!" Oh right, the Suzumiyas are in the Closed Space as well.

"I can't believe we're back in here…" Kyonko was rubbing her head.

"Everyone, gather up!" Itsuki got the esper rangers together and held each other's hands.

With them holding on together, they began spinning at an amazing speed. I would love to explain what it is but I'll leave it to the Suzumiyas for that since this isn't my work to begin with. I just twist it using twins instead.

"Oh, you bet we'll do it!" Haruki answered me.

"That's right! Everyone out there, what you're seeing is the special attack where they form a ring and act like a buzz-saw to cut the enemy!" Haruhi gave the explanation.

"The name of this attack is the Illusion cutter!"

"How the hell do you know that?" Kyon asked him.

They span fast enough and split the Shinjin in half. Awesome isn't it? Too bad it didn't work as the Shinjin only multiplied.

"Nice try but it'll take more than that!" The Shinjin spoke, well, both the Shinjin spoke.

"If they keep attacking them like that, it would only grow in numbers each time. They need to find a way to take it out all at once." Haruki said out loud. "Do they have an attack like that?"

"I'm looking it up right now!" Haruhi was looking through a book that said esper rangers guide book.

"So that's where they got it…" Kyonko was surprised. Wait, when is there a guide book for this sort of thing?

"There's only one way!" Itsuki turned to everyone else.

"Onii-san, you can't mean-!" Itsuko asked in fear.

"We have to! Everyone, lend me your power! I'll use everyone's power and focus it into one single attack! DIE!"

Before you know it, Itsuki soon blew up, destroying all the Shinjins. Holy crap that was just crazy!

"Red!" The Suzumiyas screamed in terror.

"Onii-san!" Itsuko also screamed.

Is this really the end of the Red ranger? Will someone take over the role or will the Shinjin destroy the world? Find out now!

What? The title of this chapter says it all.

"I believe that Red is still alive, just recovering from his injuries." Haruhi said looking out the window.

Haruki only leaned back while the Kyons wondered if Itsuki was ok. Since everything that happened, they even thought he was dead. I mean, he was the middle of an explosion for heaven's sake!

"That's right, we just need faith." Haruki said and soon noticed Itsuki and his sister coming to them. They also noticed that he had his arm in a cast.

"What happened to your arm?" Haruhi asked.

"Oh, it was an accident and it ended up giving him a bone fracture." Itsuko explained. "That will teach him to be careful next time."

"Oh, ok." Both the Suzumiyas said and returned to thinking about Red ranger.

As for the Kyons.

'You mean he blew himself up and came out with a bone fracture! How does that work!' Well, it is a legitimate question.

"I got it!" Haruki exclaimed loudly. "We'll be the next red Rangers!" What?

"But I thought you said that Red is still alive?" Kyonko asked.

"We did so that's why we're going to take over while he's recovering!"

"Good idea Haruki-nii!" Haruhi patted her brother.

Kyon quickly had to make them reconsider the idea. There's no way they can handle fighting the Shinjin by themselves. The Kyons, no way, the Suzumiyas, they would destroy them in an instant. Kyonko on the other hand, ran after for the Nagatos and get them to do a simple little favor.

"Nagato, please heal Itsuki-kun!" Kyonko basically said it to the closest Nagato she could grab. That ended up being Yukihiko and her face was up close.

If Yukihiko took the initiative, he would be the second guy Kyonko kissed.

Anyway, in the Closed Space, another Shinjin returns to wreak havoc once again. The Suzumiyas and Kyons were ready to fight it. The Suzumiyas were wearing the very costumes they bought the after the first time they saw the esper rangers while the Kyons were wearing something rather either rather plain or just stupid. Possibly stupid because Kyon was wearing his gym clothes, a cape and Viking helmet while Kyonko was wearing her bunny girl costume… Oh yeah, definitely stupid.

"Alright! Let's get 'im!" Haruhi said holding on to a baseball bat.

"I'm ready! Let's kick some ass!" Haruki was just as ready holding a bamboo stem like a spear.

"Hold it! Look over there!" Kyon pointed up to a building.

"We the Esper Rangers are here to save the day!" Itsuki said standing fine without a broken arm.

"Red is back!" Haruhi said with a gigantic smile.

"Now we don't have to fight anymore!" Haruki said dropping bamboo stem and taking out his camera.

Yeah but knowing those two, they are very likely to win.

**And that I the end of the esper rangers! Now let's see what chapter I should use now…**


	15. I was here the whole time!

**I'm-a back!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**I was here the whole time!**

Did you miss me? I hope not, the last thing do I need is a bunch of people asking me to hurry up for another chapter. It's annoying. Besides, so many things happen that it'll take a while for me to actually continue to work.

Ok, why do I like writing my personal life in this fic? Get back to work damn it!

Taniguchi-kun came to the SOS Brigade. Wait, why the heck would that idiot be in the room where ten of the people, excluding the Kyons and Asahinas, are a bunch of weirdos?

"So, I came here wanting to return the kappa back to the computer club." Oh, ok. "My sister doesn't want to keep it and neither do I so; can you please give it back?"

By the looks of it, no one seems to notice him. Haruki and his sister were discussing on something incoherent while drawing something. The Kyons and Koizumis were playing a board game. Paper wrestling by the looks of it. The Asahinas were preparing tea for the entire group. That's a lot of tea to go around. The Nagatos were on their laptops with their headphones on. I think we know what their playing.

Talk about being the most side character of the entire series but nothing can be compared to the Kunikidas. I would have said the Kyons younger siblings but they have more screen time in the manga and anime than this guy!

"Ah!" Haruhi suddenly shouted for no apparent reason. "Mitsuru-kun, don't forget the biscuits!"

"Ok." Mitsuru answered with a fairly girly tone.

I get when it comes to anime and manga, the guys end up looking more like girls and girls looking more like guys. But he's looks more like a girl than his sister! That's just frigging impossible!

Taniguchi was depressed since no one cared about him. He turned to the board game and watched Kyon and Itsuko play a round. It looked like Kyon was close to winning only for Itsuko to suddenly pull an amazing trick of knocking Kyon's paper wrestler to the side. This is possibly the first time a Koizumi actually won a game! It's a miracle.

And here what happens to the loser. They have to reach into a penalty box full of different poses in it. Kyon picked up one of the pieces of paper that was in there. It was the 'all hope is lost pose'! Never heard of it.

Kyon stood there, trying to remember how it went and he finally got it. He raised his right arm up and his left arm slightly lower and raised his left leg up as well… Don't you look stupid?

The Asahinas finally brought out the tea and biscuits. Mitsuru placed the bowl down in front of the Suzumiyas while Mikuru gave each cup to every person in the room. That includes Taniguchi.

"Please have some." Mikuru said in a caring tone.

Taniguchi was relieved. Finally, someone knows he exists! But that didn't last long as he remembers the grim reality of what was in front of him.

Ok, back to the game. Kyonko was up next only to quickly loss by the hands of Itsuki.

What? I'm lazy. If I didn't it'll make this chapter too long and I don't want that.

"You frigging bastard!" Kyonko shouted at me. "At least show it!"

Completely ignoring her and saying that she had to do 'begging God for mercy pose'.

"Damn it!" Kyonko said as she suddenly dropped down to her knees and had her arms up as if she was begging for something.

Man do I love being the author of this crazy fic.

Anyway, next up was Mitsuru's hand to the game. As much as Taniguchi-kun was going to watch, he was startled by the sounds of a laptop dropped to the floor. Yuki got up from her chair and picked up the laptop of hers.

"How did I get the bad ending?" Yuki said in a very grim voice. I'm scared.

"It is something I have learned while playing many simulations." Yukihiko said. "It is not always a wise idea to use a logical approach."

"How about you just take a break from the game huh?" Kyon told them. "A change of pace at least.

"Ok." Yuki and Yukihiko said.

Of course, they have to wait it out as Mitsuru just won against Itsuki and is now up against his sister. Itsuki was given to do the 'aim for a bright future' pose. He placed his hands over his face and twisted his body slightly. God he looks stupid.

Now moving on, Mitsuru play a game with his sister, Mikuru. He lost.

"Are you going to be this lazy with the matches?" Kyon asked.

There are ten SOS Brigade members, in this fic! Two are not part of the match while you, the Koizumi, Nagatos and Asahinas are! It'll take way too long and it will irritate me so much, it would make me want to strangle a puppy! So you just use your imagination on how most of the matches are!

"Ok ok, don't have to get angry." Kyon finally backed away.

Ok, now that that's out of the way, Mitsuru is given to do the 'goody-two shoes pose'. He sighed and lifted his wrist close to his chin and lifted his right leg. That's just sad. It's even sadder that I find it cute.

Next one to go up against Mikuru is Itsuko. She lost as well and was soon given a pose. She was made to do the Carameldansen, or at least a pose of it. She was having a little bit of fun doing it; she even did the little dance. It's funny and cute.

Next up was Yukihiko and Mikuru and amazingly Mikuru won. Good grief she is just destroying them!

Yukihiko picked his punishment and was going to do the 'I know Kung Fu' pose. He ended up doing the crane pose because that's the best way to explain what it is. Seriously, it's easy.

Now we finally have the last match! It is now Yuki and Mikuru! Time to see what these two can do! It ended up being the most epic thing as Mikuru was bashing the button to move the paper wrestler and push Yuki's off. Yuki was able to hold her off well enough to even be so close to the edge but she ended up hitting it so hard, it knocked both hers and Mikuru off the board!

It's a tie people! And seeing that they couldn't really decide who is going to be the winner, they decided to just do a pose from the box.

As for the Suzumiyas who have completely disappeared from this chapter the entire time finally got a piece of paper ready to show.

"Finally, we're done!" Haruki said.

"And as always, it's a masterpiece." Haruhi smiled. "Hey Kyon, we need you to put-"

By the time she turned to face them, she basically saw the entire brigade all in their many poses which made them look like a bunch of idiots. For those who are wondering what Yuki and Mikuru are doing, Mikuru is doing 'I can fly' and Yuki is doing 'my body is wide-open' poses. Basically Mikuru is standing on one leg and is arms stretched out while Yuki looked like she was stretching.

The Suzumiyas couldn't even comment. Neither can I if I saw something like that. Wait… There was something that had some kind of significance for some chapter… What was it?

"What are you doing here anyway Taniguchi?" Haruhi said.

"So you did know I was here!"

Oh right.

**It's not over yet! We got another chapter that ties in with this! Get ready for amazing action and explosions! And plain silliness!**


	16. The Sign 2! Haruhichan style!

**Time for something completely unexpected!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**The Sign 2! Haruhi-chan style!**

That's right people! It's the Mysterique Sign! And it's a sequel! Sort of. Basically, the idiotic computer club president was going into the site and have seen the new logo for the brigade which was made in the last chapter, Yasaki, Emiri and Emaro Kimidori, not the balloon dog Kimidori, that's a completely different character, explained the situation again and the SOS Brigade agreed to solve it.

If you want to find more of the details for this chapter, just read or watch Mysterique Sign. Save myself the trouble.

Anyway, the guys are back in the computer club president's bed room, except for the Suzumiyas for obvious reasons. You would think it would be the camel cricket from last time. Nope! It's a bear that looks like a teddy bear! A really large one!

"What is wrong with the guy?" Kyonko asked.

"It's so cute!" Mikuru was falling in love with something that was coming towards them and was about to kill them.

"I don't think that's the right case onee-chan." Mitsuru told her.

Yukihiko quickly pushed them out of the way before the teddy bear had its colossal arm come swinging down on him. Yuki ran in and kicked the arm off her brother to save him. The Koizumis were charging up their fiery orbs and threw them at the thing, hitting it at the back of the creature. It jumped into the air in anger and was coming down to stomp on the espers only for Yuki to quickly grab them out of the way. Yukihiko ran towards it, jumping into the air and punching it hard into its soft chest, causing it to be pushed away. The Koizumis brought their hands up together to create a larger orb in their hands and sent it flying into the bear. It was quick to move out of the way but it lost its arm and exposed the blood within it.

Holy crap, this is brutal! I don't care if it is a teddy bear and is stuffed with cotton! They are seriously trying to kill them! The Kyons even covered the Asahinas eyes from this!

The bear was still standing. It wasn't going to die so easily as it stomped its way towards the Koizumis for taking its arm. The Koizumis ran off into two directions as there was no way it can catch up with them. Itsuko then charged up another fiery orb in her hand, larger than her usual and threw it at the mammal doll and it ended up taking his leg. It fell down now it was unable to fight. Itsuki then came up at it and pressed his esper filled palm into the side of the bear which pushed it far away from him. It was then lying on its back and looked up. Up above him was the Nagatos, Yuki lifting a large rock in the palm of her hand while Yukihiko was standing on it. She then threw it down but was still attached to it as she was using both gravity and her strength to bring it down faster and stronger. Yukihiko did the same thing, increasing it 10000 fold. It soon crashed into the teddy bear, crushing it completely underneath it. The boulder ended up being embedded into the ground halfway through.

The battle ended without a hitch as the ones who can fight finished it all. As for the Kyons and Asahinas though…

"We can't keep up what was going on…" They said at the same time. I don't blame them… I just got lost in the pure brutality of the entire thing…

**Short? Yes. Awesome? I sure as hell hope so! But no matter what, that is just brutal!**


	17. Planning is everything

**I think it's about time we get this show on the road!**

**I don't own Haruhi Suzumiya**

**Planning is everything**

I think I'll stay here for a bit. I'm in a bit of a slump so I'll just write another chapter for this and show what else you people are missing for not buying the Haruhi-chan manga with a fraternal twins twist. You must go after it if you are a true fan of Haruhi Suzumiya!

I think I'm done now.

Anyway, the SOS Brigade is up for another meeting of some kind.

"Hey Haruhi, you got the schedule ready?" Haruki asked his sister.

"All done." Haruhi said.

"What are you two doing?" Kyonko asked the two. Knowing them, it's probably something that's dangerous.

"We just finished the schedule foe what we do at home." Haruhi explained. "Planning is everything after all since time is very precious. Here, this is what we do. Use it to re-evaluate your own time."

Kyonko had a good look at the schedule that they gave her.

7 PM: Break

8 PM: Tutoring

9 PM: Study

10 PM: Black Magic

11PM: Meditation

12 PM: Summoning

"What the hell are you guys doing at home?" Kyonko shouted in fright. I don't blame her. What the hell are they doing?

After a week has passed, the Suzumiyas have begun setting up something outside on the school field. The Kyons and Itsuko were just standing there trying to understand what was going on.

"It took a long time but we finally did it!" Haruki said wearing a black robe.

"That's right! We finally can create all sorts of potions now!" Haruhi smiled also wearing a black robe. "If guys have any request on potions, let us know."

"Oh, I want a love potion!" Itsuko said quickly.

"Oh no you don't!" Kyonko tried to stop her. "I want a potion to cure it!"

"Sorry Kyonko, there isn't a cure. You just have to settle with it lasting for 2 hours."

Kyonko slumped to the floor in defeat while Itsuko ran up behind her and hugged her in glee, saying things of what they would be doing together. Kyon on the other hand went up to them.

"How do you plan to make it?" Kyon has to ask. "I mean, do you even know what ingredients you need to use?"

"We do thanks to the Tsuruyas." Haruki pointed at the green-haired twin.

"Yo!" Tsuruya-kun greeted them.

"We're in charge of getting the ingredients as thanks to what says in this book!" Tsuruya-chan showed the book. It said 'Black Magic for dummies'… Why am I not surprised?

"And to make it easier for us, we have our assistants over there to help to set it all up!" Haruki pointed over to the last group working.

It was the Taniguchis working hard at setting up wood and a large pot. How the hell did they get them to take part of this?

"We got it ready!" Taniguchi-kun said.

"More like I got it ready you idiot!" His sister said in annoyance. "So why did I have to do all this for anyway?"

"For this." Haruhi passed a memory card to Taniguchi-kun. "It's the scene of Mikuru changing."

"Thank you!"

"You mean I had to do all the work for that? I'm going to kill you!"

Taniguchi-chan began to slowly strangle her brother for everything that had happened to them. The Suzumiyas were pretty happy.

"Ok now that that's all done, time to bring in the rabbit!" Haruki called out.

"Well, we couldn't get an actual rabbit so we got Mikuru-chan instead." Tsuruya-chan said. "Will she work?"

"Definitely."

"What's going on?" Mikuru asked.

"What the hell are you guys planning to do to her?" Kyon asked.

"The best we can do in this case is making her into a bunny girl instead!" Tsuruya-chan showed us.

"Perfect!"

"Can someone please tell me what's going on?" Mikuru was really worried.

"Oh, all we're doing is trying to understand the healing properties of hot springs and you're going to be the test subject." Haruhi lied through her teeth.

"Oh ok." Mikuru soon smiled as she went into the large pot.

"She fell for it…" Kyon was just too surprised.

This is starting to get really out of hand her. That's a hell load of work to make a love potion. And to make it worse, the Nagatos came in, wearing cloaks… Oh dear god.

"We're back." Yukihiko called out.

"Oh hey guys. Did you get the rest of the ingredients?" Haruki asked.

"Yes we did."

"You read the book as well huh?"

"It was interesting." There are sparkles in their eyes. That's never good.

Yukihiko handed the book to Kyon while Haruki took the bag of the rest of the ingredients.

"Now to dump them in." Haruki dumped the stuff into the pot.

"Um… Suzumiya-san, the colour of the water doesn't look nice." Mikuru was feeling really unsure about it.

"Oh don't worry about it. What's the worst that could happen?"

Kyon had a closer look at the book that the Nagatos gave him. It said 'The explosive handbook'…

*Insert overused explosion meme here*

**Now you can get yourself these books for $14.95! Each sold separately.**


End file.
